Ezra Marcus
Jun 28, 2022 BY
@ezraš„
This 2007 cult classic from Richard Kelly has it all: An insane ensemble cast including The Rock, Justin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Janeane Garofalo, and Wallace Shawn. An original score from Moby. Nonstop schizzed-out nonsense about the end of the world, quantum entanglement, psychic porn stars, exploding blimps, and, as Timberlake helpfully informs his drug dealer, āangels under a sea of black umbrellas, angels who can see through time.ā Then he pours a can of Bud on his head and lip-syncs a Killers song to an arcade full of strippers.
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The best meal in New York under ten dollars, or at any other price point, is the silken tofu topped with diced century egg at this hole-in-the-wall Chinese spot in Elmhurst, Queens. Get the āoil spill noodlesā too.
Jun 28, 2022
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Although I grew up an Oakland Aās fan, I started listening to the Yankees on the radio after I got a car two years ago. I get it; the Yankees are capitalism, blah blah blah. But itās worth it for their play-by-play guy, John Sterling, the Voice Of The Yankees. He has a gorgeous baritone and does these unbelievable home run calls: āAll rise, here comes the Judge! Aaron Judge homers to center field, a two-run Judgian blast!ā Heās 84 year years old and 33 seasons into his career, so catch him while you still can, every night on WFAN 101.9.
Jun 28, 2022
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Itās an Irish pub somehow located in the interior plaza of a FiDi housing complex. The blinds are down; the red vinyl booths are empty. Thereās an octagonal painting of the Twin Towers; Tiffany lampshades; a dim back room with stained glass windows; an ancient waiter who wears a suit; a horrific porcelain leprechaun. The wings are pretty good.One of the few bars in the vicinity to predate 9/11, Byrnes is a holdout against the mass extinction of normal places for normal people to get a drink in the city. For every haunt like Forliniās that closes weāre treated to half a dozen new TikTok-bait establishments called, like, Ghosted & Fried that serve TUNA POKE WONTON TACOS and MEXICAN STREET CORN RAVIOLI (real menu items at Beauty & Essex) to Syracuse marketing majors in Allbirds. And donāt get me started on the neon signsā¦Even more insidious are the places like Bernieās that mimic suburban taverns in order to sell homesick creative directors a plate of five mozzarella sticks for $17. Skip all that, go to Byrnes.
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Thereās two kinds of people: those who think the guy in this video who drives past a burning car while blasting Faye Wongās cover of the Cranberriesā āDreamsā is saying āBADASS.ā Or those who know heās screaming āPISSSSSSS.ā
Jun 28, 2022
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The year is 2007; reality TV is an unstoppable cultural juggernaut. So they went for it: Survivor with kids. 40 of them, ages 8 to 15, sent to a Nevada ranch (coincidentally the same one where Alec Baldwin would later shoot two people) and left alone to create their own āsociety.ā Split into four teams, they compete in challenges; the losers have to cook and clean for the winners. Each episode the kids vote for one among them to win a $20,000 prize. It went about as well as youād expect: the show was canceled after a season, one participant was severely injured, and CBS was investigated for child labor law violations. Itās all on Youtube.
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Thereās no such thing as a hangover cure, only prevention. So I came up with the Three Cup Challenge: When you get home after a big night out, chug three cups of water before bed. Itās unpleasant but it works, if you commit; my girlfriend sometimes stops at two and it doesnāt hit right. Thereās also the minor inconvenience that you will wake up at 5 AM needing to pee in a truly psychedelic way. Worth it, though.
Jun 28, 2022