Haley Nahman
Jun 6, 2023 BY
@haley-nahman💊
My pill organizer (simple white plastic with blue sans-serif lettering for the days of the week: SMTWTFS) was a gift from my boyfriend. I used to have to announce whenever I took my vitamins (“HERE I AM TAKING MY VITAMINS!”) so that someone else in the house could corroborate that I'd done it. Now I rely only on the case. I love collecting the pills from their compartment in the morning—I imagine this is what it feels like to collect eggs from a chicken coop–and I love refiling them all when the week is up. Each of the little closures has a satisfying snap. As an aside, I once heard that not all countries consider Sunday the first day of the week. I wonder if their pill cases say MTWTFSS instead.
Jun 6, 2023
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I’m including this because it’s a vaguely unapproachable art film and I hope you’re impressed that I liked it. I saw it at Metrograph in January. Dreams consists of eight vignettes, each inspired by real recurring dreams from Kurosawa’s life. It was made late in his career and is described by Metrograph as “the work of a filmmaker with nothing left to prove but a great deal to say.” (I’ve been thinking about that phrasing ever since I read it.) I hate to sound like a frat boy but I was on mushrooms when I saw it and I am going to have to recommend that. I’ve never seen the uncanny nature of dreams captured so well.
Jun 6, 2023
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There are two useful ways to time things. The first is to set a timer when you know you need to start doing something (like work, laundry, or get ready to leave the house) but you don’t currently have the willpower to do it. Set a timer (any amount of time will do—I often choose 10 minutes) and allow yourself exactly that long to scroll on your phone or whatever it is you’re doing (probably scrolling on your phone). There’s something rapturous about the combination of knowing you’ve done something proactive towards the thing you need to do while still getting to enjoy not doing it. When the timer goes off, you have to get up. No cheating—the timer is God.The second useful way to time things is to start a stopwatch before you do a chore you dread (like cleaning the kitchen, watering the plants, or showering) and then stop it when you’re done and see how little time it actually takes. It’s always less than you’d think. I once learned it took me just over three minutes to water every plant in my house, and I have over 10 plants! Recently I was sick and after days of being a gremlin, it took me 18 minutes to scrub my kitchen sparkling clean. That’s really not so bad. It’s good to know how long things take. It puts your whining in perspective.
Jun 6, 2023
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One of the best celebrity documentaries ever made. Puts every modern celeb propaganda vehicle to shame!
Jun 6, 2023
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One of the best things you can do in the summer is meet up with a friend, buy smoothies, and then walk around gossiping with the smoothies. This is called a smoothie walk. For longevity do this once a week!
Jun 6, 2023
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On Franklin Avenue between Madison and Monroe in Clinton Hill someone owns and keeps five chickens in a little street-facing yard. If you happen to live within walking distance of these chickens, I recommend incorporating them into a regular walking loop. If you’d like you can call this a “chicken run.” When you arrive at the chickens, you’ll find a gumball machine filled with chicken feed that takes quarters, so make sure to bring coins to pay your dues. Their names are Baby, Spicy, Sporty, Scary, and Posh, or just “the girlies.” If you’re lucky they’ll eat right out of the palm of your hand.
Jun 6, 2023
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A while ago while writing an essay I broke my living room window. I simply set my foot against it while typing and pressed. The next day I searched for a local business to replace it and discovered Bernie’s Glass & Mirror. If you’re lucky enough to need a window or mirror fixed in Brooklyn, I can’t recommend Bernie enough. He’ll come huffing into your living room with a rotten New York attitude and stay to chat with you for as long as he pleases. He may scold you for saying something completely innocuous like “do you need help moving my couch out of the way?” He may show you photos he once took as a professional wedding photographer. He will certainly bitch about his kids (“millenniums”) who don’t want to take over the family business. And your window will look like new.
Jun 6, 2023
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Optical 88 is an optometrist in Chinatown that turns around prescriptions in a single day for $80. Just bring the glasses you want to fill and your prescription and they will treat you like a queen. I think they'll also check your prescription for free but I'm not sure because I already had mine, that's just what the girls at Fabulous Fanny's told me. That's where I bought my frames btw—if you want to make a real day of it, start there, pick out some frames, then walk 10 minutes to Optical 88 and you'll be set in 24 hours.
Jun 6, 2023
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I love keeping plans and showing up on time. I love reliable people and I try to be reliable myself. This is not a popular stance in New York but I’m holding fast!
Jun 6, 2023
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I feel like it’s popular to hate on assigned seating so I want to show my support. When you assign my seat, you’re doing me a favor. You’re freeing me from the tyranny of choice, or the burden of asserting myself. Walking into a wedding reception to find my name on a little tag with a table number—my fate decided, nothing I can do about it now—is heaven. Walking into a movie theater and knowing my seat is saved is a perfect experience. No notes.
Jun 6, 2023