Tom Tuna is a prolific shit-poster based in “the hinterlands of Miami” and the admin of one of my favorite meme pages, @tom_tuna_tossed_salad. Tom’s Instagram account is a simple collection of yellow text over paparazzi photos and stills from films like Todd Solondz Storytelling, but it’s the captions he comes up with that make the account so special. They’re often extremely stupid, but so stupid that they’re actually brilliant. The way he weaves pop culture, esoteric references, … wait, why am I attempting to intellectualize photos of Chloe Sevigny holding a huge photoshopped Elf Bar and Ben Affleck watching Saltburn on his iPhone. They’re simply hilarious and Tom is a gifted memer. Lucky for us, Tom is here to tell us what he’s been into.
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Tis the season for emotional mayhem and being a sexual terrorist with these two auteurs. Diabolical Cary Grant pairs extremely well with the duplicitous Hanna Schygulla or maybe the unbridled mania of Kurt Raab matched against the murderous intensity of John Wayne. Try His Girl Friday with Satan’s Brew or maybe Rio Bravo with Beware of a Holy Whore. You can’t really go wrong lol.
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Nothing comes close to the religious delirium you can achieve by combining these two activities. Navigating around hostile moving traffic and loony Miami homeless dudes all while listening to the albums School Daze, Afternooners, Muscle Up, and Mechanical Fantasy Box. Make sure to caff up beforehand.
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Much like Bret Easton Ellis, Bruce Wagner has an insidious gift in capturing the life and antics of the people that run around Hollywood. If you’ve seen David Cronenberg’s Maps to the Stars he wrote that script and it’s kinda based on a culmination of all the themes and ideas from his previous works. Personally I’d recommend Force Majure and Dead Stars to start. Funny and harrowing as hell all his work makes for an engrossing read.
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Delicious and strong as shit. This is the only supplement you need to take you down the slippery miami streets. It will get you hot faced. Fair warning.
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I feel like dressing like a little arrogant aristocrat is gonna be very big in 2024. What better way to signal your upwardly mobile ambition than with this classic garment. From the docks Nantucket to the streets of West Miami. You can literally wear these prints anywhere and fit right in. Truly a must have for a young man cruising the singles scene lol.
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My friend Jessica just showed me these. We both especially like the ones of the dudes getting wasted from the early 2000's. Def a harbinger of the upcoming wigger apocalypse.
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