WILLIAM BANKS

🔥454, 🛁 Bubble baths, 🙌Anything Caroline Yost does, and more.

April 2, 2025

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William Banks is a New York City-based comedian and performer whose antics you’ve probably heard of, either on your timeline or in New York Magazine. Also known as “White Moses,” Banks garnered attention the last few months with an elaborate stunt: faking a months-long incarceration and a dramatic prison-break, complete with a fictional romance, a welcome-back party in Bushwick, a crypto meme coin turned into aid donations to Palestine, and a real arrest on March 12th. Honestly, even after reading exactly how he pulled it off, I’m still bewildered– but I’ve enjoyed following along as it all unfolded. In case you missed out, Jail Saga is now available on YouTube. Lucky for us, William’s here to tell us what he’s been into.

WHAT WILLIAM BANKS IS INTO...

🏠

Have roommates

Don’t live alone. You want to feel like a “real adult” so bad that you’re willing to be sad and lonely spending all your money to live in a studio apartment? My 3 male roommates are my best friends and as soon as we can find wives we are going to start a commune and raise our children together on vast land.

☕

Work a job for the discounts

I just got hired at the coffee shop I go to everyday. I’m not very good at it so they only have me scheduled once a week, but they give me a 50% off discount now whenever I come in which saves me more money on my daily coffee than I make in wages. Shout out Pando’s in Crown Heights, I work Tuesday afternoons - come by and I’ll make you a coquito latte with no latte art.

🙌

Anything Caroline Yost does

Her performances are fully committed expressions coming from a 1-of-1 soul truly in touch with God. She turns life itself into an art piece, cameras off, nobody watching; her presence on its own implies a divine beauty that the world has no right to perceive. She recently released a cover of “Burn” from Hamilton, the Icarus-coded founding father who pushed his wife away in a blinded pursuit of greatness. The best way to consume her work, in my opinion, is to look for any signs or clues or hidden messaging.

🛁

Bubble baths

Draw them hot as they go then sit next to the steaming tub for an hour or so until they cool enough to dip in. Start in the morning and it’s okay to do it twice a day, but you are probably going through something if you hit three or more. I pick up a fresh bottle of Dr. Teals from my local Walgreens about once a week.

🔥

454

He’s a rapper and DJ who played at my welcome home party a few weeks ago after I escaped from jail. His real name is William just like me but he goes by Squills and he saved the day. We were having some tech issues and he went home to get a different laptop so that he could DJ. I love dancing to his music.

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WILLIAM BANKS

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