Rec
my mom grew up going to the Heart and i had the privilege of attending twice as a young girl during our brief furloughs in the States. i loved camp: the traditions, the horses, the crafts, the songs. most of all i loved the Guadalupe: serene green and shaded by cypress. we practiced swimming, canoeing, and fishing, and spent reflective Sunday mornings dressed in white by its banks. despite last week's destruction, i wouldn't trade our time by the river for anything.
my time there wasn't perfect. i spent my days trying to navigate a culture i only experienced every four years. during afternoon siestas, i begged God over and over to delay the rapture so my parents would still be on earth to pick me up after camp. i cried in the bathroom for reasons i don't remember, wading through that difficult stage of having emotions too big for my growing body.
the year i left Thailand for college, Jane Ragsdale personally invited me to work as a counselor-in-training. honored, i agreed and spent the summer reconnecting to the roots i never claimed in Texas. i met parents who went to camp with my mother and saw her portrait on the wall of the office, a smiling young recipient of the Jo Jones award given to a camper demonstrating the highest character. while i still felt as awkward as ever among my more confident peers, i felt reassured that i belonged.
i returned as a full-fledged counselor after my freshman year, but this time a culture of resentment towards leadership was brewing. by the end of summer, the internal tensions had erupted. i had seen behind the curtain and was devastated to find that not even the Heart - this heaven on earth - was left untouched. even Jane was more human and complex than i wanted to believe. my grandparents picked me up and i tried to leave it all behind.
in the years that followed, i would suddenly be reminded: the smell of cypress, the soft coo of a mourning dove, the lyrics of a silly camp song. it felt like a long-gone era i couldn't speak about with anyone. over time, i learned to hold it all close: the disillusionment and the bone-deep feelings of awe.
when i saw the footage of the devastated Heart, i couldn't believe my eyes. i've seen destruction before, but never on paths i've walked for months on end. the river i loved turned monstrous, sweeping decades of history away overnight. i checked the camp's Facebook and read the horrible news. our Jane, the Heart's constant presence, was among the dead. i'll never forget her rosy-cheeked smile, her love for ice cream, her sure voice over guitar strums in the dining hall or by the waterfront. and most of all, how she always saw me, remembered me, and welcomed me in. as a little shy girl and an older shy college student, that meant everything to me and always will.
6d ago
Comments (7)
Make an account to reply.
heartbreaking & beautiful tribute 😢❤️ thank you for sharing this piece of you with us, my love 🫂
6d ago
Related Recs
Rec
📽Support our independent cinema screens!! I am a Londoner so I have memberships with BFI, Prince Charles and Picturehouse and it is totally worth it, especially as watching movies takes up a good chunk of my personality and I dislike watching things at home. Advanced screenings, access to smaller films, discounted tickets are all great but it’s also just nice to support these places who do so much in preserving the British independent film scene which is currently in an abysmal state. Curzon, Everyman, The Garden, Genesis, ICA and many more are also all great and I would be members of them all if I could. Big up BFI especially because I probably wouldn’t have got as far in both my career and love of film without them, and the Northampton Filmhouse in my hometown which was my first independent cinema.
These are of course London based examples but I encourage everyone to support their local independents 🫶🏻
These are of course London based examples but I encourage everyone to support their local independents 🫶🏻
Jan 27, 2024
Rec
⭐Free movie theater screening and free concessions and fun fancy feeling experience. Idk how I got on one so I’ll report back with that info later
Jan 28, 2024
Rec
🎥The best movie theater in New York seats 35. See a movie here you know nothing about and you will be inspired. For me most recently it was a screening of Dave Wascavage’s Suburban Sasquatch. Simple Town has been lucky enough to play videos here twice. The first night was packed, the second night we sold two tickets, and both nights were perfect.
Apr 4, 2024
Top Recs from @thickrimmedgirl
Rec
bc it’s what I originally wanted when I first went to college at 17 but I was scared to make writing my job and got a B.S. in Nutrition instead lol
Now the goal is an eventual PhD in Victorian Literature but I’m just happy to have made it through this part at 32!
Stacked is everything I read in my English courses—barely pictured are the 5 stuffed accordion folders of other reading materials under my chair haha
Now the goal is an eventual PhD in Victorian Literature but I’m just happy to have made it through this part at 32!
Stacked is everything I read in my English courses—barely pictured are the 5 stuffed accordion folders of other reading materials under my chair haha
May 16, 2024
Aug 21, 2024
Rec
🏆conflusional. delonfident, even
Oct 1, 2024