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đŁď¸
I used to be very conflict avoidant as a young pup but as an old dog, Iâve embraced the conflict that arises when you need to let a mf know who you are! Part of being boundaried is enforcing those boundaries if theyâve been crossed and that means sticking up for yourself. You gotta let people know when they ought to do better by you, or politely let them know when they got you fucked up, because only then can you re-establish the terms of engagement so you are respected, treated with the kindness and consideration you deserve. If the person is mature enough to be accountable, then they will respond in a reasonable manner to your reasonable request. If the person crashes out, then they are an unreasonable human who doesnât deserve to have your time or space! You deserve the world â show yourself that by picking you first!!!
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đ¨if youâre person with anxiety like me or a person who experiences misogyny (also me) then chances are you could always get a little meaner when it comes to asking acceptable behaviour of others. looking back on times when, in the moment, i was worried that i was being too harsh by telling people how they can treat me, retrospectively i have almost never ever in my life felt i did the wrong thing. realizing this has made standing up for myself 10x easier every time i find myself needing to. showing others grace is not incompatible with showing up for yourself, in fact, one necessitates the other!
Mar 14, 2024
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đ¤şItâs a skill that only gets less scary with practice. Do it with people you wonât ever see again, and do small things! As you get more confident then you can level up to bigger conflict. Like, itâs really amazing how much things arenât that big of a deal. Anxiety makes it seem to us like weâre unsafe for stating our needs.
My journey was one that included a lot of therapy, which if you look at my stuff I recommend a lot. I was always very willing and able to stand up for others, but not myself, so I did a lot of questioning âif this was someone else, would I be okay with it?â and imagining that I was standing up for younger me. Often times over the top people pleasing was a survival tool that was needed, but isnât any more.
Also⌠realize you donât have to be a bitch. Asking for respect and your needs to be met isnât bitchy. Does that mindset stop you from standing up for yourself? Conflict can be very simple, straightforward, and respectful. If someone goes off on you, thatâs their issue. And thatâs something that helped me a lot too- other peopleâs reactions werenât entirely because of me. If someone reacted poorly, I could also draw boundaries with how Iâm being treated. Pretty cool. Makes me feel like I can handle anything.
Lastly, I worked as a caseworker with DCFS for a few years and that really helped me in the long run. I had to work with and try to help people that hated me, and I learned a lot. While I donât recommend anyone work for DCFS bc itâs a shit system, being forced to experience conflict so much did the trick.
Jul 22, 2024
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đRemembering that close relationships are generally supposed to be supportive, respectful, and loving
Yeah, conflict is supposed to happen in relationship. Constant fighting shouldnât. Feeling like you always need to defend yourself shouldnât. Begging for love and kindness shouldnât. Someone always taking their emotions out on you shouldnât.
You deserve love and respect, even if just from yourself.
You deserve love and respect, even if just from yourself.
Feb 20, 2025
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đItâs a lil melanin deficient over here so, hereâs a short list of interesting folks to consider:
- Meshell Ndegeocello
- JPEGMAFIA
- danez smith
- Morgan Parker
- Kassa Overall
- Moses Sumney
- Diamond Stingly
- Arthur Jafa
- KELELA
- Toro y Moi
- Zack Fox
- KeiyaA
- Kilo Kish
- SZA
- Bartees Strange
- Cakes da Killa
- billy woods
and thatâs all yall are getting for free đ đž
and thatâs all yall are getting for free đ đž
May 29, 2025
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đŚShit is peak civilization! You ever take a shower so hot it felt like you were cooking yourself?? You ever take a soak so peaceful you felt like a little dumpling being steamed?? Hot water is good for the soul and will literally fix most, if not all, of your problems. Highly recommend, 15/10
May 29, 2025
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I got my w*mb scooped out and it was the best decision I ever made! You get to decide how to make yourself! Go do that thing that makes you feel more like you, I promise you will not regret it!
Jun 18, 2025