Caroline Calloway
Apr 8, 2021 BY
@carolinecallowayš
Go type āmobilesā into the search bar on Etsy. The results dazzle. And this kind of art takes up zero floor or wall space in an apartment! Matte, metallic, felted, wood, stained glass, sea glass, origami, Calder riffsā¦ Mobiles have it all and Etsy has all the mobilesāgood ones start as low as $35. Technically their correct term is ākinetic sculptures,ā but I call my own collection my houseās āhanging gardens.ā
Apr 8, 2021
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The collars are mandarin and the pockets are plentiful and the buttons are made of ANTLER. Antler! Do not get the version of this blazer with brass buttons. Itās equally traditional, so look closely before you buy. Search terms you can use for Ebay or Etsy or your Euro vintage site of choice are: āTyrolean,ā āTracht,ā and āJankerāāplus āmens jacket.ā Only buy the male version of this blazer most especially if you are a woman. The whole look here is that of having your date drape his tuxedo jacket around your shoulders at the end of a long, black-tie gala. Except instead of moonlight and champagne flutes itās lunchtime in the alps and your boyfriendās speaking German. You canāt understand a word heās saying to anyone at this mountainside boar hunt, but you will never forget the earnest look in one Austrian aristocratās eyes as speared a tiny sausage with a toothpick and said: āVhen you vear zhis jacket, you must always zhink about zhe summer.ā Now listen. These blazers are wool. Alpine summer is brisk. I wear mine even year roundāperhaps even especially during the winter over holiday-party dresses because the color scheme of Austrian black tie is just so goddamn elvin and Christmassy. But I always think, for an instant, of the summer when I put one of these special jackets on. And now I hope you do, too.
Apr 8, 2021
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Youāll be shocked to know this, but I break things all the time. Vases, planters, hearts. That is why I always keep a tube of super glue in a tasteful ceramic bowl on my entry way table. Someoneās going to get mad at me for saying this, but Iāve even superglued fake nails back on. Thatās right: Super glue directly on nailbed. Go ahead. Get mad at me. Try to cancel me! You couldnāt even if you tried.
Apr 8, 2021
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If the heel isnāt walkable then just call it what it is: A tiny art installation for your closet. Unwalkable shoes sit on shelves like small leather sculptures! The very purpose of shoes is to increase your mobility and comfortānot to limit your stamina and plans for the night! Stop wasting money and start engaging with reality instead. You will never wear them. Save the money.
Apr 8, 2021
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Thereās something so profoundly irreverent about asymmetrical gemstone settings.
Apr 8, 2021
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The best sleep-soundtrack is not thunderstorms or white noise or waves. Itās Simlish. Itās Buy Mode. Itās all the familiar sound-effects.
Apr 8, 2021
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The secret to flower crowns is that thereās really no secret at all! ITāS ALL SMALL HAIR CLIPS! Literally do not EVER put fake flowers in your hair because you will look like a terrible Coachella wannabe FRAUDSTER, but with small hair clips you can attach any fresh flower in the world to your head. Try to steer towards tropical blooms, like orchids, because those plants are able to absorb moisture from the humidity in the air and will therefore last longer. Bulb-based plants like daffodils and hyacinths wilt quickly as do anything in the Aster family (daisies). I like to buy my small hair clips for the minimum amount of money on Amazon.
Apr 8, 2021
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I wear mine, uh, literally everyday. Summer, winter; galas! When one pair gets too dirty and too worn-thin I buy another of the exact same pair. Pale pink base. Turquoise lettering. Cherry-red shadows. String tied in double knotted bows so they never come undone. Itās big Gossip Girl 2010ās energy and that is an energy that I am all about. Life was good! Natalie and I were still friends! I wasnāt addicted to Adderall yet! I literally had no idea that one of my best friends would sell me out for $5,000 to The Cut, take credit for my entire brand, and try to make it seem like I was never an addict at all! Buy these shoes!
Apr 8, 2021
šļø
Ever heard of it?! You need it more than you think you do! Start with spools of 1.5 inch ādouble-facedā satin (Iāve linked my favorite Amazon brand) in the specific colors of: black, crimson, turquoise, goldenrod/marigold, and sort of a icy, slate-gray, periwinkle blue. A deep, wine-red burgundy in .5 inch velvet and an Easter-y, baby pink (or blue or yellow or lilac!) in .25 inch satin will also come in surprisingly handy. Use for beautifying hairstyles, presents, and bouquets of all kinds. Giving someone a single flower is made a thousand times fancier just by tying a bow on it.
Apr 8, 2021