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A TASTE OF TASTE WITH...

Elena Velez

Hulken Bags, The Royal “We”, Google Alerts, and more.

May 17, 2023

Elena Velez
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Elena Velez is a Milwaukee born, New York City-based fashion designer and artist whose work rejects the industry’s elitist bicoastal-ness by heavily drawing from her working class roots and the industrial legacy of the Rust Belt. Her Midwest-inspired looks have dressed Perfectly Imperfect-favorites such as Solange, Arca, Caroline Polachek, Ethel Cain, Julia Fox, and Eartheater. Last year Elena was the winner of the CFDA Vogue Fashion Fund and received the CFDA American Emerging Designer of the Year Award. Lucky for us, Elena is here to tell us what she’s been into.

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Google Drive
If I didn't get a calendar invite I’m not coming and the conversation never happened. I’m a virgo aka a Godless Girlboss™️ and even make my BD share my schedule. I even prototyped my dream app and realized it already existed in Jamboard. In all, I think compartmentalisation really affirms my copes and I also love how Google drive & Google analytics are such a familiar yet dangerous experience because if you tinker around too much you might sink the whole operation - a certain bureaucratic appel du vide, if you will.
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Royal “We”
The “Majestic Plural” form invoked by sovereigns and single founder startups. The theory is that a royal we includes both the king and the god he speaks for, or in the entrepreneurs case, a never ending supply of proficient human resource, but if I'm letting y’all behind the velvet curtain my royal we is me and my feminine phobia of being singularly culpable.
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Mentos Pure Fresh - Freshmint Gum
Everyone thought they were so cute asking about my pregnancy cravings until I replied with “chemical burns”. I had all of these crazy compulsions towards acidic scents and flavors like mouthwash, detergent, essential oils, cleaning supplies, gasoline.. I settled on becoming a gum connoisseur and this is my go-to. I only chew for the 15 second initial flavor burst since I’m after the burn and also think gum is a disgusting habit and anyone who chews gum for over 2 minutes is a repugnant pig and should seek to know what god knows. Delicious gum. 11/10.
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Google Alerts
As a very important celebrity with great tits and perfect politics, I’m so charmed when people take the time to share their recognition of my worth publicly. Not to keep simping for Daddy Google (Larry baby hit my line, I miss you), but my impeccable press is the most enduring and meaningful monument to the fabulous, offensively wealthy, and very glamorous life I’ve built for myself. Not my kids.
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Hulken Bags
I don’t even have one of these things and they're only like a hundred dollars but I never buy one because sometimes you just need something to perennially look forward to. I can’t bear to shatter the illusion that the capable and unencumbered professional woman I could be by owning a mid-sized structured rolling bag might be a foundationless reverie. But y’all should get one these shits, they look mad practical! I pitched a very left handed collab, and they gave *us* a very gentle swerve but offered a consolation coupon code which is LOVE10 and that’s on mutual aid, sweaties.

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