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Everyone thought they were so cute asking about my pregnancy cravings until I replied with “chemical burns”. I had all of these crazy compulsions towards acidic scents and flavors like mouthwash, detergent, essential oils, cleaning supplies, gasoline.. I settled on becoming a gum connoisseur and this is my go-to. I only chew for the 15 second initial flavor burst since I’m after the burn and also think gum is a disgusting habit and anyone who chews gum for over 2 minutes is a repugnant pig and should seek to know what god knows. Delicious gum. 11/10.
May 17, 2023
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🎥The best movie theater in New York seats 35. See a movie here you know nothing about and you will be inspired. For me most recently it was a screening of Dave Wascavage’s Suburban Sasquatch. Simple Town has been lucky enough to play videos here twice. The first night was packed, the second night we sold two tickets, and both nights were perfect.
Apr 4, 2024
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🎞The best $25 I spend every month. Literally pays for itself if you see one movie
plus if I see a bad movie I don’t feel like I wasted money
plus if I see a bad movie I don’t feel like I wasted money
Jan 30, 2024
Jul 11, 2025
Top Recs from @elena-velez
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⛪�The “Majestic Plural” form invoked by sovereigns and single founder startups. The theory is that a royal we includes both the king and the god he speaks for, or in the entrepreneurs case, a never ending supply of proficient human resource, but if I'm letting y’all behind the velvet curtain my royal we is me and my feminine phobia of being singularly culpable.
May 17, 2023
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💅As a very important celebrity with great tits and perfect politics, I’m so charmed when people take the time to share their recognition of my worth publicly. Not to keep simping for Daddy Google (Larry baby hit my line, I miss you), but my impeccable press is the most enduring and meaningful monument to the fabulous, offensively wealthy, and very glamorous life I’ve built for myself. Not my kids.
May 17, 2023
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🛄I don’t even have one of these things and they're only like a hundred dollars but I never buy one because sometimes you just need something to perennially look forward to. I can’t bear to shatter the illusion that the capable and unencumbered professional woman I could be by owning a mid-sized structured rolling bag might be a foundationless reverie. But y’all should get one these shits, they look mad practical! I pitched a very left handed collab, and they gave *us* a very gentle swerve but offered a consolation coupon code which is LOVE10 and that’s on mutual aid, sweaties.
May 17, 2023