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We like our fresh flowers the way we like our raw meat: butchered out of sight by faceless killers and then neatly wrapped in too much plastic at which point we are ready to make our purchases. Pets are family members and houseplants are like pets. HOWEVER! If you are strong enough to get past the psychological block most people have towards buying a potted plant just to kill it on purpose later that day, then you too can wear your hair like Princess Caroline of Monaco for the lowlow price of just 8 dollars. Otherwise you will be stuck paying $45 a stem from a florist like a fool. Let’s run the numbers! Grocery stores and even pharmacies sell potted orchids near the check-out aisle for about $16.99 a pop. Most potted orchids have two stalks of blooms. My favorite grocery store for buying hair-flowers is Trader Joe’s because of their incredible variety in orchidaceae subspecies, and my favorite type of flower to wear in my hair is the orchid because they take so long to wilt. Unlike many cold weather flowers, the tropical petals of the orchid can absorb water from the humidity in the air making them the perfect accessory for a long night out.
Jun 22, 2023
Related Recs
I personally love keeping flowers in my kitchen and on the vanity in my room. I either grow some that make good cut flowers like zinnia, sunflowers, daisies, gladiolus, mums or I get whatever color flowers at the grocery store I’m feeling. Or a personal favorite is buying the pots of hyacinth bulbs before they bloom, one of my favorite smells in the world, and then I plant the bulbs in my garden after the flowers have faded so I have more next spring. Flowers in home = instant happiness boost. (Pro tip: chrysanthemums and carnations last SO long in vases as long as you change the water and trim the ends every couple days.)
Mar 24, 2025
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long dead is the art of buying flowers for no reason. buy flowers for urself buy them for ur friends buy them for family buy them just to carry them around in your bag and stare at them
Apr 17, 2024
Something my mom would always tell me. If your paycheck allows, make it work! I’m a Capricorn so you know I love budgeting and have $30 set aside for my monthly floral needs. Unfortunately I don’t make boutique bouquet money as a teacher but assembling grocery store flowers is enough to satisfy me :) Sure they don’t last long but the flicker of joy you feel every time you look at them is priceless baby!
Fake flowers are spiritually bereft and exude an evil energy and should be avoided at all costs.
Mar 30, 2024
Top Recs from @carolinecalloway
Ever heard of it?! You need it more than you think you do! Start with spools of 1.5 inch “double-faced” satin (I’ve linked my favorite Amazon brand) in the specific colors of: black, crimson, turquoise, goldenrod/marigold, and sort of a icy, slate-gray, periwinkle blue. A deep, wine-red burgundy in .5 inch velvet and an Easter-y, baby pink (or blue or yellow or lilac!) in .25 inch satin will also come in surprisingly handy. Use for beautifying hairstyles, presents, and bouquets of all kinds. Giving someone a single flower is made a thousand times fancier just by tying a bow on it.
Apr 8, 2021
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When I finally got on antidepressants and stopped self-medicating my depression with an life-consuming addiction to amphetamines, I bought, like, 200 bottles of perfume. It wasn’t that before I got on proper medication, I couldn’t smell. It was just that when I was in the thick my depression, smelling something lovely just didn’t bring me any joy. It was too slight a pleasure—like listening to rain or baking cakes—to affect me. The only way I was able to afford 200 bottles of perfume was Dossier. They make dupes of iconic scents at price points of $29, $39 and $49. Their candles are great, too! My favorites are the Diptyque Do Son dupe, the Baccarat Rouge 540 dupe, the Love, Don’t Be Shy dupe (it’s Rihanna’s signature scent!) and, since I live in Florida now, I also love the Le Labo Santal 33 dupe because people chase me down the street to ask me what it is. It’s so sweet and heartwarming watching Floridians smell Santal 33 for the first time. But obviously I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that perfume back in New York. Being seen as an offbeat and eccentric weird is too essential my fragile sense of self.
Jun 22, 2023
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I’m saving about $2,000 a year on buying my press-on nails from Etsy instead of getting them professionally done anymore. Let that number sink in. And I’m having so much more fun this way, too! Some women have knitting. Others scrapbook. The hobby that enriches my silly little life with arts and crafts is gluing the most beautifully painted bits of plastic onto my fingertips. I’d suggest you buy two sets in the same sizes so that if one nail falls off, you can replace it. Two sets of the same design will create a manicure that lasts just under a month—I shit you fucking not. And here’s the kicker! After you decide to take them off you can still use them again someday. To sand off the dried glue from previously worn nail sets, you’ll need this $10 electric nail file from Amazon. I also like to organize my nail sets in this clear, $8 bead organizer, also from Amazon, so get that, too. To find great nail sets just type into the search bar on Etsy “press on nails…” and then whatever else you’re looking for. “Press on nails y2k.” “Press on nails French tip.” “Press on nails floral…” Etc.
Jun 22, 2023