It’s spring and the ultra-short skirt/crop top trend is about to pop off. But before you take your kitchen scissors to your wife beaters Julia Fox-style cop a pair of Gingher shears. They’re heavy and sexy and silver and used by people who actually know how to make clothes. I’ve been “customizing” my wardrobe for years but it’s only recently that my raw hem skirts and sweaters aren’t totally jagged and wonky. It’s called maturity, girls.
Alright boys & girls & all people, we have entered that small window in the northeast where you want to wear a long sleeve t-shirt or jacket or hoodie, but you also want to wear shorts. As the (unofficial) sovereign & all-knowing harbinger of getting cute little fits off for pi.fyi™️ (working title btw) I am approving all outfits that make this combo work for the foreseeable future. It doesn‘t even have to look good because it just feels good. Ladies, let’s keep it classy please. Remember: modest is hottest, or something. Boys, we’re in the 3” inseam category rn. You need to look like you’re about to run a sub-5 minute mile. You need to look like a few misteps might cause a peep show. I’m talking 75% of thighs are out on display. You might read this and go “Wow Mariano that seems very misogynistic of you” — false, it’s reverse psychology. Keeping the creepy male gaze off of the ladies and instead giving them something to look at, like how we all have been gawking at Paul Mescal’s tiny shorts + shredded thighs combo. Don’t ever say I’m not a feminist. (Hey this is like HEAVILY laced with sarcasm which I’m sure 80% of you will read and understand but the 20% that won’t…please it’s a joke please laugh )
turn ur mini dresses into skirts! turn ur maxi dress into tops! pin your clothes! wear them the ‘wrong‘ way! clothing has no solid rules and experimenting with how they can be worn will scratch that lil itch you have when you feel like you have NOTHING. you’ll get way more use out of your closet!! currently wearing a maxi dress folded up into a top, ive also turn into into a mini dress and maxi skirt- why buy more when I have a solid piece that can turn into 4 different silhouettes and all it takes is a lil shifting and possibly a pin or two
Investing in a good shampoo and conditioner is key when you have bleach blonde hair in recovery from blasting it with one of those round brush blow dryers the kids on TikTok like to make fun of. I don’t really believe in sustainable consumer goods but this Davines shit is amazing and it comes in “biodegradable” packaging that you can throw in the garbage instead of pretending to recycle it.
I’m from Vancouver where the only cute thing to do is ride bikes by the ocean. During covid lockdowns, I realized you can kind of do the same thing in NYC. I like to take a Citi Bike along The East River to Battery Park, and then up to one of the west side piers if there's time. This makes for a cute date if you want to pack a picnic, but I’m usually late and lazy so I just end up going to a restaurant in the village after the sun goes down. Last time it was Genes.
I like to think of it as a vacation day. Just because you’re not lounging somewhere tropical doesn’t mean you can’t experience the joys of devouring a juicy beach read at home. Put on your best sweatpants, prepare your french press (lately i’ve been using espresso beans from Grumpy), and grab a book you can finish in one sitting. I recently read Other People’s Clothes by Calla Henkel, but any murder mystery or celebrity memoir would do.