I stole a pack of these from my mother and when she protested I barked at her that I needed them more than she did. They are not real cigarettes and they make me feel like no one could possibly hurt me.
Now is the portion of my perfectly imperfect piece where everything goes out the window and I become a complete hypocrite after talking about skincare and collagen renewal, because I'm about to add cigarettes to my list of recommendations. I know they're horrible for you. I know they will kill you. But letās face it; we're all gonna die, it's only a question of when and how - and some days weāre more in the mood to speed up the process than others. So when itās that kind of day, and youāre feeling emo or sexy or stressed, and wanting to have a social anxiety relieving prop in your hand or simply partake in a sexy ritualistic experience with someone who is also smoking - thereās nothing like having a cigarette. Going outside for a smoke with another person and someone lighting your cigarette, you touch their hand briefly to cover the flame. Itās all so fucking sexy/intimate/special. A brief loneliness eliminator! HOWEVER, the only cigarette Iām recommending are Capri cigarettes - the PURPLE pack. Purple Capris are the ultra light of the Capri line. Here's a bone I have to pick with Capri cigarettes (aside from the fact that they literally kill people), they don't label the strength level of the cigarette. You have to Google what the color of the pack means. My god, get it together Capri cigarettes. Good thing they're so addictive that people will just deal with this kind of bullshit. They're so slender and chic. Youāll feel like you're straight out of the '70s or '80s, hanging with Bianca Jagger NOT waiting in line for Studio 54. Smoking this cigarette will get you RIGHT to the front of the line. Theyāre effortlessly chic. Which is my favorite way to describe something I love.
Iāve been trying to just look around the room more in an effort to be on my phone less. Try it! It can be quite psychedelic and is akin to reading and/or prayer.
For as long as I can now remember, my integrity and my relationship to myself have steadily atrophied as a result of endless scrolling. I got a new phone recently and due to a clerical error, I was locked out of instagram. This allowed me to devote my old phone (which I now call my ābad phoneā) exclusively to social media access. My pain levels have reduced 800%.