Recently I've been thinking about how much time I've lost to looking at screens and playing video games (probably over a year or two cumulatively 😞). I've decided to stop consuming media until theres nothing I can really for in the day except practice finger picking my guitar while I watch whatever my wife (Taylor) puts on the TELEVISION. Whenever I think about my childhood or a time when I was younger, I am always plagued by the memory of having a device somewhere in that memory. I think I got a Gameboy when I was like 7 and it just kinda spiraled me into becoming heavily addicted to video games until like 21. I really wonder what it did to my brain (aside from the electromagnetic fields). Like I feel like a gambling addict but I've been gambling for so long and stuck in the casino for 16 years that im tired of it. But I feel like humans are able to unlearn and heal ur brain right? So yeah I've tried to stop going on IG and shit.
I have made an effort to return to using the internet like I did when I was a kid: strictly using the computer for social media, youtube, and games. My phone is purely used for music and reading or art. I have gone from a 9 hour average of rotting on social media, to a 3 hour average of reading and listening to music per day. I didn't always have such a long screentime but since summer started I realized I was really wasting my life on my phone instead of enjoying summer. Even though social situations drain me, I have encouraged myself to go out more often and take the opprotunity to socialize. Now, it's not like this has solved all my problems, but the best thigns that have from it were being able to focus on new ways to bust boredom, like playing my dads bass and the piano a little bit. I also spent more time actualyl playing games with my friends too, which isnt productive really, but isnt something I regret either. Really the main thing this achived wasn't making me more productive or happier, but allowing me to focus on things I like and making me slightly more creative. It's just a better opprotunity to spend my time more wisely and avoid regret.
Ive wasted so much of my life glued to my phone and although it hasn't been detrimental to my health or social life this addiction is holding me back from doing many things. It's hard to try and stray away from social media because most of the time, when i'm not on my phone I feel like i'm missing out on what's going. The feeling of needing to know trends, memes, and drama becomes draining to my mind. There are so many things which are way more productive and life enriching that I want to do but the ongoing feeling of needing to scroll one more time prevents me from doing these things. I'm aware that this all sounds like a lame excuse but for many this is a big problem. I feel somewhat disgusted with how lazy ive become, and Ive always felt like I never had time to do certain things, but as I look back it's simply because of that damn phone. It's time for me to stop caring about all the stupid shit I scroll past every single day and make a change. Definitely deleting TikTok and only keeping instagram for my friends. So this year and then on, I hope to read more, learn more, write more, and simply enjoy the world, with the hope to reconnect with myself and truly understand who I am as a person. I wish you all the same.
I have had a long running addiction to my phone for honestly most of my life. It's a very hard thing to break away from when it's a very normalized part of society. There has never been a day where I haven't used it and I know there will always be something I unfortunately need it for. Though I wish It didn't consume all my time. I've bought this card that essentially bricks my phone during the day so I can only use necessities like maps or work related things. And, for the first time ever, I realized how absent from my own life I was actually being. Everything I do on my phone is so second nature majority of the time and there was almost always no real reason I was on my phone. I needed to be more intentional. I moved away from spotify more and more and now if I am using my phone I am using NTS radio and bandcamp (and Nina Protocol!) but mostly to avoid distractions I use an mp3 player. I know sometimes with that there's something you *really* want to listen to but don't have access to it on the player, but I think that thought process is what contribute to my phone addiction. My phone gives me unlimited access to desire making me seek it out more instead of being happy with what I already have. Sometimes less is really more.
Today my text Is the size of half my screen, tomorrow maybe the colors are inverted, yesterday brightness was at zero and voice over controlled my life.