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I turned 31 this month and am working on an essay in 31 points. Here's the first 16 points (my bday is Jan 16).
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Jan 24, 2024

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šŸŽ‚
manifesto forthcoming. i hear time and time again - ā€œi’m not a birthday person.ā€ as a convert, i’m here to challenge that limiting belief. not unlike new yearā€˜s eve, getting your hopes up for a single night is futile. thus, i have the following advice: -embrace birthday weekĀ  Ā Ā month is a little much, even for me, but allow the week to be birthday-centric. this doesn’t have to be sunday to sunday; it canĀ Ā consist of any of the surrounding days that feel relevant to THE day -multiple experiences Ā Ā much like new year’s eve, hanging your hat on one night is doomed. thus, i recommend that you implement ALL (not some) of the following: INTIMATE DINNER +with partner, family, a couple of friends. something that feels low key and non stressful. great for a thursday or sunday night. let them know ahead of time (if they need reminding) that you would like a candle of some sort on a house dessert (is this too bossy?? NO! you’d do the same for the ones you love. next). (i also get desserts with candles the whole month, unabashedly. and do the same for loved ones.) SOLO DAY +plan things for yourself: solo lunch, matinee, massage. buy a fancy latte. take a cab. spare no expense; today you turn off the switch in your head that wonders if it’s worth it because it is. FRIEND DAY +have people over, meet at a bar, or throw a full on party. this is group time. i honestly recommend doing this one last. you’ll likely have enough fun with the other two events that this will feel like a cherry on top. ask your type A friend to help plan, if you need help, and remind them again ab some sort of treat w canes. this doesn’t have to be a blowout! tell everyone to bring whomever, +1s, enemies as it’s more-the-merrier vibes. tl;dr everyone deserves to be celebrated and there are people in your life eager to help you make it happen. ask for what you want. do the same for them down the line ā¤ļø ps my birthday is 3/17 if you need to start preparing pps bonus tip - pic is of last year’s birthday outfit. i also like to throw a very easy mini theme to get people thinking ahead of time (i said to wear silk, leather, or mesh. everybody looked hot) ppps i have so much more to say ab this, lmk if you want moreĀ 
Feb 3, 2024
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I read somewhere to treat your birthday as a day of how you'd like to see the rest of your year going - meaning - fill it with activities you'd see yourself doing in future. So every birthday now, I do stuff like; going to the florist's, eating a fresh loaf of garlic bread etc. etc. Last birthday I accompanied a friend to a jewellers', she wanted to adjust a bracelet, I wanted to be around shiny things. I learnt about the silver market, got a discount for my friend and tried on lots of pieces for the heck of it. Also went to a buffet later, unscheduled. In the mundane, there are always beautiful moments.
Jun 2, 2024
šŸŽ‚
happy birthday to me! it’s a little hard to believe that i’m 21 now—even though i’ve technically been an adult for three years now, it seems that the reality is only setting in now, and i can feel that clear divide between teenaged-me and newly adult-me. not quite sure what to make of that. birthdays are always bittersweet, and the last two particularly were filled with melancholy—but i can check this one off as a success since i didn’t even cry! i went to the movie theaters and saw nosferatu (and also bought a theater membership because one of my goals for the new year is to go to the movies as much as possible). i had the best matcha latte of my life. i went home, cut the cake (the most delicious triple chocolate cake, by the way), then watched gladiator ii with my family. nothing flashy by any means, but if there’s one thing this year has taught me, is that it’s the simplest things that bring you comfort. i hope 21 is kinder to me. i’m trying my best to keep my hopes low (since it seems the universe is always conspiring against me), so all i can do is wait and see what it brings me. cheers šŸ„‚
Dec 31, 2024

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There is something ugly and small about winter that I like. Perhaps because I was born into it. And there’s a stillness too. I feel it most when I’m back home in Nebraska leaving the bar at 2 a.m., warmed by old friends and tiny drinks. I walk to the car, snow crunching underfoot and, as soon as I’m alone, I stop. I stop and listen. I love that moment of quiet, blue desolation.Ā  I do not handle the cold well. I am quick to shiver and my long johns don’t come off once they go on. So these moments of serenity are strange and precious. Something deep inside me quietly overpowers the elements and I feel some kind of inner peace. For this reason, I once made an igloo in our backyard and then laid inside for hours trying to fall asleep inside that feeling.Ā  Winter birthdays are a challenge. What is there to do? This year I decided to lean in and seek snow since that’s become something of a novelty in New York. $500 and 120 miles later I had my squall. When I returned to the city for my actual birthday, it finally snowed, marking New York's first significant snowfall in 701 days. It was the perfect gift.
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trust me. if you don't, see profile pic.
Jan 24, 2024