I'm not the same person I was. I feel myself changing. Not only mentally but physically aswell. My eyes colour has changed in the past week and my skin is starting to become flaky. I'm petrified. My feet have shrunk. I don't fit into my favourite loafers anymore. This can't be permanent. Everything needs to go back to how it was.
Jan 26, 2024

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i don‘t even really think FOMO is the right word. i sound like a big whiny baby but all my friends are becoming unrecognizable and not the people that i first met, yet i feel like the same person i’ve always been. when i mean that they’re changing, i don’t mean in a good way either. drugs and alcohol which i guess is normal for someone my age, but i just don’t have any interest in that stuff, i think it’s destructive and a waste of time. its just weird to hear them talk about plugs and pens but they’re still my friends i made slime and friendship bracelets with. i realize that i sound judgy and stuck up, but i just don’t like growing up and changing. anyway i just wanted to get that off my chest
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my knees now ache regularly. I’m more sentimental about things and have began documenting a lot more of my life - photo albums/scrapbooking, journaling, keeping lil objects, etc. I’m obsessive about the quality of my sleep. my body is screaming that I’m running out of time to reproduce, despite having no actual desire for children. I see through the bullshit, no longer fit the naive category.
Sep 13, 2024
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I used to be so cool and I don’t know what changed. Being 25 is something, but not that much, right? Is it because I gained weight? Does passion just fade with age? I feel so old and so young at the same time. What will hapen when I'm not pretty anymore? Am I still pretty? I don’t feel pretty. I was honestly really cool, and now it feels like it’s all over.
May 30, 2025

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