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My mind often revisits the memory of my vintage brown suede skirt, adorned with the insignia of an elusive brand whose name has slipped my recollection. All I can remember was that it was once based in Montreal and no longer existed at the time of my purchase. The straight, long silhouette of the skirt effortlessly embraced my waist with a discreet side zipper, a button and a fabric-loop buttonhole, and came to my ankles. The fabric was on the heavier side, enough to cast a dignified drape, undeterred by a light breeze, and had a slit on the back for ease of movement.
Over the passing years, fashion cycles have reintroduced certain styles, akin to the resurgence of the long skirt, now enveloped in the broader allure of the coquette aesthetic. I survey a Pinterest feed of Gen Z models, clad in a trend I once admired and practiced. I have to remember, the long skirt proved to be somewhat impractical in my daily wear and I would often succumb to the need for a midday wardrobe change in pursuit of comfort. Despite my decision to donate the skirt to a new home where it could be cherished and worn, a sense of solace envelops me, lamenting the time it safely resided in my closet. In hindsight, I find myself regretting our premature parting.
Jan 26, 2024
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I have a lot of trouble getting rid of clothes and have had a habit of just buying and hoarding beautiful secondhand pieces and never wearing them. and when I do get rid of them I regret it soooo much like I did a purge within the last year because I had resigned myself to feeling like my body had permanently changed and then lost a ton of weight and am back to the size I used to be 🤦♀️
Here are a few items I cannot let go of:
* Comically oversized impractical Surell fox fur earmuffs I got from Poshmark. They’re in a more sable color but I had to use this model photo to illustrate how hilariously huge they are I’m obsessed. I only wear them when I’m doing a glamorous look though because they look insane
* square toed Rag & Bone cheetah print boots I got on TRR for like $15 when I delusionally thought my shoe size was smaller. they are just slightly too small and I wear them anyway and suffer because they are CUTE…
* Rag & Bone fluffy loop knit rabbit hair sweater with gold metallic strands throughout. This is a photo of someone’s from Poshmark that is in like immaculate condition but mine is rattier and the top buttons have fallen off so I always wear it open. my absolute favorite piece it’s so versatile and can be dressed up or down
* cropped black Rag & Bone (can you see a pattern…) cashmere sweater and vintage black long slitted velvet skirt I bought at my neighborhood thrift store recently!! My new favorite outfit and these are pieces to hang onto forever
Dec 17, 2024
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I grew up following harajuku style on the internet through the late 2000s and 2010 and many japanese fashion magazines were a big inspiration such as Fruits, Kera and the Gothic & Lolita Bible. Fruits was especially relevant and they used to host their full archive online, though the website is not up anymore, some editions -not only fruits but many other magazines- can still be found on archive.org and even on instagram pages.
On a more personal notes, a lot of my clothing pieces are hand me downs from my mom, aunts and cousins, and it got me into the habit of looking through their old photos and questioning if they still have a piece that I liked, and a lot of the times they do and give them to me. You can get some pretty unique pieces like this and also induces your brain to obsereve fashion in unexpected places and be creative with limited pieces.
Jan 17, 2025
I wanted the Moschino question mark coat for ages, but it rarely pops up for sale and is perpetually out of my price range, so I made my own version. I haven’t worked with faux fur outside of a Halloween costume and it’s been a while since I’ve made a jacket or drafted a pattern, but I was pleasantly surprised how well it turned out. I’ve been sewing for almost 15 years, though sometimes I’d have long periods of not sewing anything - feeling uninspired or frustrated by failure or just being busy with some other hobby or practice. At one point I wasn’t even sure if I could still call myself a designer because it had been so long since I had made anything. But it’s nice to realize that the skills that you learn don’t really ever leave you, they’re just peacefully hibernating in the background, ready to come back when you need them. I’m trying to sew one thing a month this year, it feels comforting in the same way it does to reconnect with a friend from the past.
Feb 14, 2025
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Highly recommend starting every new project with a good cry. Let it out.
Feb 26, 2024
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A few days ago, my dad woke up with the words "Ginny's not coming back inside."
Ginny is my dog, a nearly 15 year old Yellow Lab-German Shepard mutt that I rescued in 2013 at the age of 4. She's been a patient, loving and calm companion to me throughout my 20’s, and has overtime won the hearts of my Pakistani parents, both of whom were deeply terrified of large dogs until Ginny joined our family.
What do you mean Ginny's not coming back inside? I asked.
"She's not coming back inside. I think she likes it out there. I have to leave for work, can you let her back inside?"
I nod yes and roll over. I hear my dad descend the stairs, leave the house, start his car and back out of the driveway before I get up myself. I scroll my phone aimlessly for a couple of minutes and decide to check on Ginny.
I go to the back door. Usually when she’s ready, she meets us there, ready to re-enter the indoors. When I don't see her there, I immediately get worried - maybe she escaped from the yard.
It happened once before when someone forgot to close the gate. We found her a few hours later, having a solo picnic in the next-door neighbor's garbage. All the desperate cries she must have heard and ignored in pursuit of scraps; the frantic phone call to the police and nearby animal shelters. We drove around and walked in zig-zags all through our neighborhood only to discover she didn’t stray far at all.
I open the door, now more alert and panicked than seconds ago, but quickly spot her across the backyard. Laying down.
I freeze until I see her chest rise and fall. She's sleeping.
This was a few days ago.
Almost every time we let Ginny out now, we have to cajole her back inside because she loves being outside, alone, with nature. I don’t indulge her too much, I know isolation is a sign of discomfort and pain in dogs, but I think of my grandmother, my dad’s mom, who spent her final days napping in our yard, back when we lived in the suburbs of Toronto. My siblings and I would watch her, baffled, as she placed a sheet on the lawn, lay down and rested there for hours. Didn’t she want to be in the cool air conditioning, maybe watch some tv? Do something a little more… interesting? Wasn’t being outside deeply underwhelming? We never asked her these questions so I’m not sure what in particular she liked about the experience. If could guess, it made her feel connected to the earth, it gave her a sense of peace and comfort, she enjoyed the silence and simplicity of it.
Yesterday, it was raining. I let Ginny out, thinking to myself, surely she’ll come back inside - it’s pouring rain, for god’s sakes - only to go out searching for her 10 minutes later to find her soaked, laying on the ground. I choked up at the sight. I brought her inside and dried her up.
Later in the day, Ginny had her vet appointment. They weighed her. Unsurprisingly, she was 10 pounds short of her usual weight. Unsurprisingly, she was diagnosed with arthritis and dementia. They took bloodwork and warned there could be more. We wouldn’t have the results for a few days. They gave me some medicine to help her with pain management and appetite stimulants to help her regain some weight.
Today, it’s cloudy but the rain won’t start for a few more hours. My mom suggested we bring a towel out to make Ginny more comfortable. I also gave Ginny my cashmere sweater as a blanket, placing it on top of her laying body. I thought she might like it, but it's hard to tell what she likes anymore.
As I write this, she’s been out there for an hour now. It's time for her to come back inside, eat her breakfast and take her medicine.
Mar 6, 2024
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I eagerly participate in conversations only to misspeak. My little sister shared a photo of her new tattoo and the first words out of my mouth were "it's great that it's so small, easy to remove if you ever change your mind."
Feb 14, 2024