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Look at yourself less

1. I promise promise you don’t look decrepit or dying, I know that it feels that way but you are a much harsher critic than everyone around you 2. If looking at yourself is making you overly anxious, or self-critical, try to do it less— we look at ourselves so much more now than at any other time in history, and it’s okay to disengage when that feels bad or unrewarding 3. When I feel ugly, I brush my teeth and wash my face— even if it doesn’t fix that feeling, I am now cleaner and have taken care of myself a little. Try drinking water, and if you feel that there’s a particular skin issue, schedule an appointment— nothing is more affirming than having a professional tell you that a) they see this all the time, and b) they can help you resolve the things that bother you. General skin tips: - drink a glass of water every time you eat— if you have a hard time remembering to hydrate, tying it to an established habit can help - find a moisturizer and face wash you enjoy using (I use CeraVe and sometimes Beekman) - get some sun — this is good for your body and your brain - try two weeks off sugar and dairy, if you’re able— these are both often linked to worse skin - find something that makes you feel confident. I don’t often wear makeup on my skin, but I do my mascara (Ilia) and my lipstick (MAC or Clinique black honey) every day, and that makes me feel way more confident, without clogging my pores or feeling I have to cover up to go out.

@nadiyaelyse

Nov 5, 2024

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La roche posay, glossier, cera ve

For a simple routine you only need a face wash and a moisturiser— if your skin is more oily than dry, try Glossier’s cleanser concentrate, and if drier, try Glossier’s milky jelly cleanser or Cera Ve’s hydrating facial cleanser. If you have acne prone skin, a face wash with salicylic acid will help. Then use a good moisturiser; Cera Ve’s Daily Moisturising lotion is my workhorse, and I use Beekman 1802 Bloom Cream at night or when dry. Use a good sunscreen; I use Supergoop Every Single Face watery lotion, but anything that you like the texture of and will use consistently is best. Do those three things for a month or two, and it will feel much easier to fold other things into your routine where you notice you need them— that may be a serum, a chemical exfoliant, or an active. If you get breakouts and want an effective spot treatment, La Roche Posay’s effaclar duo is the best thing I’ve used— it’s more effective than patches or stickers, and minimally drying. Do you have particular skin concerns (dryness, dark spots, breakouts, redness, etc.)?

@nadiyaelyse

May 9, 2024

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Skincare

Taking care of my skin has boosted my confidence more than anything ever has. Right now my nighttime routine is wash my face with Bobbi Brown soothing cleansing oil, curolgy, retinal, hyaluronic acid, vitamin C, the ole henrikson undereye cream, and triple antibiotic ointment. My morning routine is washing my face with Sonya Dakar gentle facial milk cleanser, spray my face with Osea sea mineral mist, Osea hyaluronic sea serum, Sonya Dakar nano hydrator moisturizer and Sonya Dakar SPF 30. If I go outside a lot I use 50 spf. I had cystic acne when I was younger and Curology really changed my skin. It completely cleared it up. I’m so grateful for it. When I was younger I tried absolutely everything. Salt water, mouth wash, that nuetrogena face wash with the micro plastics in it. Nothing really worked until Curology. I also take Tri-Sprintec birth control because it is the most effective at clearing your skin. If I have a break out I take Doxycycline which is an antibiotic that stops acne from forming. It’s been a lot of work and not easy but I’m so happy I did it. I love face masks too. My favorite is Blue Tansy from Herbivore. It’s a nice exfoliator that really changes your skin. I notice a big difference with it. I also love sheet masks. Innis Free has my favorites. They just feel so effective to me. A nice evening to me is staying in and taking care of my skin. I love to steam my face, do an exfoliating face mask, then a pore cleaning one and then a moisturizing one. Then I do an eye mask and all of my skincare steps. It feels so good and I look amazing when I wake up.

@chloe-cherry

STAFF

May 26, 2022

Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse

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You are only mundane to yourself because you are so familiar— to everyone else you are new

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2024

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transparency is not the same as intimacy

This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way you’ve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the space— they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and it’s easy to say “I let you look at my room, that was intimacy,” while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.

@nadiyaelyse

May 28, 2024

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Let it die

I like to let my phone die— I often don’t charge it overnight, and try not to plug it in during the day. If you’re able to access work/school through only your laptop, let your phone die, or leave it on the plug in another room. I also delete most apps from my phone for periods of weeks, and minimally use social media— if this works for you, it can feel very liberating, and makes me feel much less constantly accessible (which I think is a good thing). Something that helps me is thinking about the flattening of correspondence; before social media, if you wanted to communicate to a friend, it was one-on-one— you might write a letter, or call, or email, but what you were doing was conversational and relational. When we use social media, we flatten a lot of individual relationships into one relationship between us and our “audience.” Instead of sharing a thought or comment intended for one person, and designed for them to reply and continue the correspondence, we put out press releases on our own lives: “this is what I had for breakfast,” “this is a meme about my mental health,” and we become part of a passive audience in our friend’s lives. We end up feeling like we’ve just seen our friends, because we’re “viewing” their lives, but actually apps leave us feeling very isolated and anti-social. Try deleting your most used social media apps, and also schedule a walk/movie night/coffee with a friend. Outside of radical deletion, pick an audio book to listen to, and pair it with a hands on/tactile activity: you could load the dishwasher, or draw, or try embroidery.

@nadiyaelyse

Jul 29, 2024