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⭐

the ocean

there is something figuratively beautiful about the things we know and don’t know, the sublime and mundane and when you visit the beach, do you ever think about if the animals who live in the embrace of the depths remember the beauty of the ocean? where the salt envelops every single one of us,  accepting us as kin letting her wind tousle our raw, visceral edges  and pepper them with her sea-foamed kisses  which tell me that it’s okay to pretend and okay to tell the ocean all of myself the ocean reaches out to me, hands cloaked in the sharp coolness of water and something else- something i don’t understand as I poke around in a tide pool, like a vendor at a bustling market, observing the wares that the ocean has to offer and i turn around and ask her, do the barnacles see themselves? do anemones understand their own beauty, fragile and ephemeral?  i don’t think they do.  but the ocean doesn’t have any words for me, instead shutting my mouth with a shhhh  as her sandy dress rustles down the shore, laced with white foam and gossamer trails of ripples and wordlessly, tells me to look  and i do.  until the sun hurriedly retreats from the wispy radiance of the moon, enrobed in puffy clouds and it's just the three of us. the moon tugs at the ocean’s hand, dancing to their own secret rhythm,  letting me see them in their love. personally, i think it’s beautiful \\ and i wish i had something like it and the ocean laughs. nothing jeering or ridiculing, simply an acknowledgement that i understand. everything around me falls,  like petals cast off from a chrysanthemum. and then, we were wordless  like the ocean had never spoken in the first place.  i want to descend into the depths of the ocean one day, to be hugged once more and never again. not because i am tired of being alive, but frankly within me exists too much zeal to live. uncontrollable surges of wow i am alive in flesh, blood through my veins, and thoughts in my head become more addictive than any form of fentanyl, cocaine, heroin  and better than any gateway into a better life  or a better existence, transcending normality and the moment it’s just me in my head, without the viscous energy of being alive suddenly drains me like a leaking bucket, decrepit and dry. i want to burn like a torch, setting my world alight into embers, into flames,  into an inferno.  Sunrise:: being alight || with a halo of only thoughts and dreams || and the divinity of something new

@neiternal

May 2, 2025

🌊

not sure what this is saying and i wrote it

i toss and i turn with the pillow staying put, welcoming a new wave of anxiety with each movement 2:18 on the clock and the fan adds more momentum to my unattainable thoughts buried in the need to see, and learn the unknown yet, i lay on the surface as a parched rock in the middle of my favorite beach, reeking of the current simplicities of life though its surely a blessing in disguise which i might recall five years from now standing by, holding onto my innocence, waiting to believe in a miracle or see a comet pass by in the dark night sky

@macar0ni2

Mar 1, 2025

⚜️

a poem i wrote

there are things i think are weird  but it’s not that they are actually  weird  it’s that they are unusual  or they bring me a new perspective — one that i’m not so used to — like seeing an orange tractor on the side of the road  surrounded by three men in orange  construction suits  in the middle of the french countryside  or the fact that  at the beach yesterday, the foggy glimpse of land, the island we could see in the distance was the british island of jersey. it made me think about how the world is really so small  and that we, humans, are the ones  that make it seem so big and  vast.  we are the ones that over complicate over think over populate  over build over use  over dignify ourselves  when we are just merely visitors in this never ending universe. and somehow, in some  situations that idea is  safety and  comfort. it’s refreshing  to know that as messy and as complicated  our lives are, none of it  actually matters. because if nothing matters, we can get away with a lot. we can be mean and  crazy and stupid  and in love  and happy and hungry for more and sad  and lively and alone.  but then i remember that “we are not a drop in the ocean we are the ocean in a drop” and we don’t have to pretend that our  emotions are meaningless  and that our lives aren’t meant to be lived  and we aren’t meant to be thought about and  cared for and loved.  the things we feel are real and they hurt. they are painful.  they are beautiful.  they stay and they pass.  just like the fog that covers up jersey — just like the tractor on the side of the road — just like us.

@sunflowerlady

Jan 4, 2025

Top Recs from @rururuthie

📺

adventure time

There are SO many great series out here these days, and this isn’t anything new or groundbreaking, but I’ve been watching Adventure Time since I was a little kid- I have watched it in full dozens of times at least. I’m amazed every viewing at how I am able to understand new profound themes along with new levels of silliness. The creator is basically a genius and I think it’s one of the most beautiful and underrated cartoons everrrrr

@rururuthie

Mar 20, 2024

🌩

epic storm over the chesapeake bay

@rururuthie

Mar 31, 2024

🐦

Merlin bird id app

I’ve been obsessed with this app that identifies birdies based on their calls and songs! It’s incredible how many different birds are in my yard at different times of day. I’m so excited to use it while traveling too🙌

@rururuthie

Apr 21, 2024