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It could be someone from work, or someone you met at a party, or someone you know from a place you go a lot — but making a connection and following up with them to hang out! I’ve been freaked of this before, but have tried to reach out to people more & most of the time it’s been a positive thing.
It’s helpful for me to find a common interest like if we talk about a movie that’s coming out or a hobby we both like, to invite them into that!
Mar 11, 2024
Related Recs
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Join groups. Not paid classes. I think people often show up to paid classes with a friend or two, and are just generally more focussed on themselves and their little project considering they literally gave up money to be there.
Instead: Find something like a community garden, a co-op supermarket, a mutual-aid volunteer group, an arts collective, the board of a local hospital or community center etc. People show up at these things alone...and if they show up with a friend, it is unlikely they BOTH will like it and have the time and desire to keep showing up. If you like it, and show up 2 or 3 times, you will get to know the other people who keep showing up! I feel like I am describing this poorly, but I have made meaningful connections with people in these settings and never from a bar or an event meant to meet people. Also, maybe we are different, but I am more interested in someone who takes time to put themself in this setting than someone who is at a bar at 2am. Quirky people are cool.
Other thoughts:
- Agree that consistency is key. I've read before that connection comes from being spontaneously in the same place at the same time over and over (not from planning rigid hangouts and putting them on your calendar a month out). I guess this manifests by becoming a regular at a cafe or a library branch or a park or joining a group like the ones above. Keep your eyes up and talk to the people who also show up over and over. (It's mot easy, I need to start doing this, I have many people I see over and over and chicken out about talking to.)
- I sometimes target people I want to get to know....lol. Did they mention in passing they want to try X meal at Y restaurant? (Regardless of how you started talking). Great I'm gonna text them in 2 days from now and invite them to that plan. From putting in 0 effort to making friends in college, and paying for it, I now realize you need to be aggressive sometimes about asking people to plans, and those who are open and available and sociable will say yes, and maybe they'll ask you to hang next time!
- The root of this is just talking to 923789 people and figuring out who is awake alert and attentive, so you have to find someone who isn't obsessed with their status quo, and who is willing to sit down at lunch with a stranger and shoot the shit. Circling back, I have found these people via community groups.
I was really excited to think about this ask because I think people take close connections of all types for granted sometimes. Hope I said something worth anything.
Mar 16, 2024
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a coffee shop, running club, pottery class, karaoke night etc.
Whatever thing ur into. Go to places where you can do that thing regularly.
Eventally and usually pretty organically you will begin to make friends with people. People who you probably have alot in common with because you already have a shared interest. Yay!
I moved to a new state about a year ago knowing no one. I joined an improv class and now I have a whole network of people that I never expected to know. From that network you'll meet other people and so and so on.
Feb 3, 2025
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i make a lot of new friends just by being genuinely interested in what other people are hype about! if you’re out for drinks, learning someone’s go-to drink can open up a whole conversation / revelation about them to connect to. you can also plan activities that make those discussions more likely: go to a museum and plan to go to the exhibits that each person most wants to see, visit a farmers market or flea market to shop, etc. most people are happy to meet new people and want to have a good time, so good luck and have fun!
Mar 21, 2024
Top Recs from @keatlate
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I cannot read your mind, on or off the road
Feb 22, 2024
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Just makes life better, i love a 3:28 what are you doing call
Feb 27, 2024
While hot dog week runs strong on PIFIY, bringing it back to a time honored tradition — THE Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest. The lore to NHDEC is fun and is worth marvelling at how many hot dogs people can just scarf down.
Apr 4, 2024