i feel like a massive hypocrite writing this, but im gonna be honest..
the past year i've been constantly listening to/watching youtube videos and ig reels in order to fill the silence. just loads and loads of useless information and empty talks.
last night i realized that doing so has been keeping me from thinking about stuff, listening to music and in general, being productive. i was filling my head with useless noise so i wouldn't think. it ended up being a comfortable bubble of bullshit that was hard to break out of.
today i stopped the video, grabbed my notes of things i want to DO and played some music in the background. felt much better. i might relapse— i have many times, but im tired of being a vertically scrolling thumb (again).