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The concept of birthdays is so human and so touching.
Gathering together to celebrate the fact that someone you know and love completed yet another year on this earth.
The concept of gift giving confused me when it came to birthdays but then I realized living can be made really difficult by a number of different things, and to grow and age is to face unavoidable challenges, so it only makes sense we reward people for the time theyâve endured here.
What a lovely concept that we give presents to people and in return they gift us their presence for yet another day!!
the whole thing has really made me rethink birthday gifts. I try and think of major themes from the year they just completed â music, art, memories, something that played an integral part in helping them grow. itâs also a pretty helpful exercise to assess how much you know about what your friends are perceiving and experiencing day to day.
Mar 29, 2024
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itâs such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year.
i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing.
my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know itâs such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but theyâd never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie.
sorry if this isnât a very upbeat response (: <3
happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
manifesto forthcoming.
i hear time and time again - âiâm not a birthday person.â as a convert, iâm here to challenge that limiting belief.
not unlike new yearâs eve, getting your hopes up for a single night is futile. thus, i have the following advice:
-embrace birthday weekÂ
  month is a little much, even for me, but allow the week to be birthday-centric. this doesnât have to be sunday to sunday; it can  consist of any of the surrounding days that feel relevant to THE day
-multiple experiences
  much like new yearâs eve, hanging your hat on one night is doomed. thus, i recommend that you implement ALL (not some) of the following:
INTIMATE DINNER
+with partner, family, a couple of friends. something that feels low key and non stressful. great for a thursday or sunday night. let them know ahead of time (if they need reminding) that you would like a candle of some sort on a house dessert (is this too bossy?? NO! youâd do the same for the ones you love. next). (i also get desserts with candles the whole month, unabashedly. and do the same for loved ones.)
SOLO DAY
+plan things for yourself: solo lunch, matinee, massage. buy a fancy latte. take a cab. spare no expense; today you turn off the switch in your head that wonders if itâs worth it because it is.
FRIEND DAY
+have people over, meet at a bar, or throw a full on party. this is group time. i honestly recommend doing this one last. youâll likely have enough fun with the other two events that this will feel like a cherry on top. ask your type A friend to help plan, if you need help, and remind them again ab some sort of treat w canes. this doesnât have to be a blowout! tell everyone to bring whomever, +1s, enemies as itâs more-the-merrier vibes.
tl;dr everyone deserves to be celebrated and there are people in your life eager to help you make it happen. ask for what you want. do the same for them down the line â¤ď¸
ps my birthday is 3/17 if you need to start preparing
pps bonus tip - pic is of last yearâs birthday outfit. i also like to throw a very easy mini theme to get people thinking ahead of time (i said to wear silk, leather, or mesh. everybody looked hot)
ppps i have so much more to say ab this, lmk if you want moreÂ
Feb 3, 2024
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for the last three years (at least) I've noticed every birthday goes the same way- midnight starts off on a good note because I'm surrounded with my friends and there's cake and music and dancing, but when i wake up the next morning there's just this... void. not a sadness in particular, but a feeling of emptiness. i get this strange feeling of having to do something epic or cram my day with activities, cause that's what is expected? cause people are constantly asking 'ooh what plans do you have for your birthday', but what if i just want to stay in and meet some friends and have a nice time? which is exactly what i did this time with a game night, but the void the next morning persisted. i don't think it's because of me thinking of what i've achieved in the last year and how i could have done more. in hindsight, you could have always done more but it was a big year for me- i moved away from home to another continent, started my masters degree and set up my life here. i think it stems from a place of seeing others my age and making comparisons, which is not something i like doing because i have always believed everybody's track is so different and there is no way to make a fair comparison yet i still do so. and so i start thinking to myself, "oh am i too skinny to look like I'm almost in my mid 20s", or "his t-shirt is much cooler than mine", or some other superficial thing that is purely relies on physical appearances. maybe i just miss having someone i can have deep chats with without feeling like I'm boring them or pressurising them to stay and listen, maybe i should just reach out to some friends from back home, which I've always found tough to do but better late than never
15m ago
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bar bathrooms, guest bedroom, rooftops, around the corner, empty alleys, pantries, take your pick
Mar 30, 2024
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Sometimes you just gotta call it what it is and move on
Apr 1, 2024