exam tomorrow, impostor syndrome, fear, regret, frustration. I found a spider on my bathroom wall, I decided to chat with her for a little while. I warned her not to crawl on me when iâm sleeping or on my bed, and kindly asked not to have babies. I also gently asked her not to go into my dirty laundry or when I put it in the washing machine, she will die. I donât wanna kill her, she lives in my house too, since she canât pay rent I asked for some pest control activities, I hope she will agree to these terms.
my little silent roommate, I have decided itâs name will be Fern. I hope Fern will bring me luck for my exam tomorrow, next time I see her I shall tell her about it. thanks Fern, goodnight and eat well.
I was sitting on the steps to my house with my friend Evan. We were about 2 or 3. There were hundreds of ants on the sidewalk below us. Evan reached down and started smushing them. I turned to him and told him to stop: âHow would YOU feel if you were an ant and someone smushed YOU?â A patronizing lesson in empathy⌠Interestingly, I had open heart surgery around the same time and spent days in the hospital, but this memory is much more visceral. Love this question.
during a fire drill in first grade, a jumping spider bit me. i wasnât doing a thing to him and i think what upsets me most is that he couldnât assess my vibes to know i wasnât a threat. i had a really mean teacher and i tried to tell her, but she angrily shushed me, as we werenât allowed to speak during fire drills. i accepted my fate and figured she would be sorry later. i remember wistfully staring out the window as my mom drove me home, coming to terms with the end of my life. i didnât tell her, for fear of worrying her. i peacefully ate my final dinner when i got home (velveeta mac and cheese, which i hated then and i still do now. but again, i didnât want to complain as my mom would have a bigger issue at hand when she went to go wake me up in the morning.) i went to bed without a fuss. said goodbye to my then two year old sister, took a look around my room and gave a sigh. this was it. and i went to bed knowing i had lived a long, good six years of life. well, dear reader, i am here writing this 20
years later. so rest assured, i did survive. but i think my rational (?) thought in that moment helped me work through a lot of existential stuff at an early age. so i guess thatâs cool.