Related Recs

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A STRANGE BALANCE

A lot of my friends (myself included) got married young; I myself locked down marriage by 22. What I’ve noticed is that when you’re married younger, you don’t get to develop into the generalized stereotypical douche bag archetypes that guys hit in their 20’s — indie sleeze ball, frat bro with allegations, overly into himself athletic dude, guy who is too niche into their hobbies, neighborhood womanizer, etc. This doesn’t mean we’re perfect, just means we missed out on what could be peak horrific boy era that you see from 21-30. What has been weird though is seeing how many guys in that age range now are leaning into the…again STEREOTYPED incel/incel adjacent persona. It’s so strange. I don’t associate myself with many of these guys but I sure do see them (and hear about them) from my friends. Tie that into the stereotype that men shouldn‘t go through therapy (for myself, inherited from a strong immigrant father who has done hard labor since 19) and you’ve got a really messed up bag of guys out there. They either are horrible humans overall, or are just oblivious to what it means to be a normal person, or are in their own headspace and don’t understand why others aren’t thinking like them, or have fallen deep into weird religious and/or political movements that pins them as the victims. In short: no, men are not okay.

@marianoleonczik

May 24, 2025

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Believing marriage and having children is cool and sexy

I’ve noticed a counter culture movement brewing online where the emphasis seems to be on rejecting neoliberal ideas of individualism and increasingly atomized living as a sort of virtue for the sake of our children who would suffer at the hands of climate catastrophe or just the cold hard reality of consciousnesses. Accounts like @carnivoreaurelius or @saveyoursons offer practical advice about the benefits of high quality red meats, the dangers of seed oils, not sunning your asshole enough and soulless dating apps. They provide some respite from the nauseating reality of the current leftist ideology that’s left a lot of us childless at 30 because of eugenicist level logic like “why would I contribute to our planet’s overpopulation issue?”. Pundits like Jordan Peterson and Candace Owens have built entire careers off this grift of “no nonsense” steps to a better, more righteous life. Don’t get me wrong, are these neoconservative pysops? Sure. But at this point it’s just about choosing which psyop makes life on Earth tolerable for you. I grew up in a culture that shunned the idea of marriage and children altogether because it reminded us of the traumatic lives our female ancestors just had to accept due to their lack of autonomy. Some cope by stating how relieved they are to enjoy their 20s without the responsibility of family and that they have plenty of time not realizing how hard pregnancy is on the body after the age of 32 or how expensive it is to freeze your eggs or adopt. I was repulsed by the idea for most of my life and then it hit me about a year ago…without a solid partner and cute fat babies around, life is kind of a hollow boring nightmare.

@bianca

Dec 6, 2022

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DE-CENTER MEN

For so many women men are the focal point of their social lives. Decenter them!!! Focus on your girls!!! Spend time with your sister and your mom and your girls!! Regularly hang out with just women and without the intent of interacting with men! When you have healthy and nurtured female relationships you won't seek out male attention as much and won't settle for subpar men. The patriarchy is based on men being the focus of our lives. The best way to beat it is to LOVE YOUR GIRLS!!

@sara-catherine

May 26, 2025

Top Recs from @joe_m_miller

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Skip the express checkout

Wait in the line. Wait in the fucking line, talk to the cashier and make a joke. Hone your small talk. if we stop using the express checkouts they will shut em down. They’ll give the cashiers more hours, more demand and more money. it’ll result in them having more power. Talking shit about AI is easy but now it’s time to choose the people over the robots in person. In real life.

@joe_m_miller

May 21, 2024

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Unplanned friend calls

sometimes when things go wrong you just gotta dial that shit and decompress a tad

@joe_m_miller

Oct 27, 2024

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Ending emails with thanks Much

Thanks much is just so chill. It’s like you can’t be bothered to add an extra 3 characters for “so” but you still want to express gratitude

@joe_m_miller

Apr 26, 2024