If I were global dictator, I would institute a policy that required every bathroom to have some sort of nautical theme. It just makes sense for bathrooms to evoke tropical beach vacation vibes. To meet my policy’s minimum requirements, citizens of the world would have to procure a piece of seashell art. The highest tier of seashell art is the kind that depicts a wacky scenario. For example, you could have a pelican with an auger shell beak playing the ukulele in a straw hat (he must have googly eyes haphazardly hot glued onto his face). Or, you could have an owl made of clam shells playing golf in crooked wire-rimmed glasses (also haphazardly hot-glued). A second-tier option would be a clam shell soap dish. When you get a clam shell soap dish, your bathroom is no longer a bathroom, it’s a powder room. Seashell art in your bathroom is the epitome of class, and I wish the world understood this.