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as stated above, i embarrassed myself while asking fran lebowitz a question at an event. i have terrible luck when i meet my heroes. im still proud of myself for asking something though :)
Apr 20, 2024
Related Recs
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And getting over it because it’s totally fine actually and the world isn’t going to end!! 🤯
Oct 9, 2024
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on confronting traumatic moments revolving around embarrassment or shame:
when i was like 14 in chorus class we were all required to do a solo performance. singjng is my biggest insecurity and i completely shut down any time i have to actually perform. needless to say, this was the epitome of that experience. tweenage me had the biggest panic attack of my entire life trying to ukelele creep by radiohead (per any 14 year old girl).
i have made progress w my vocals in recent years but despite everything i can barely even listen to that song 7 years later because thats all i think about. it was utter humiliation.
that said, i got out my stupid little fake gay mini guitar w its pretty odd stickers and jon cozart signature and decided to try to redo it like rn. nobodys in this room but me and i am still aching in terror- its like i can literally see the band room’s music stands and the podium in the corner where our director was sitting. i just hit record on my little voice memos and i was 14 again. trying not to throw up rn.
still got just as nervous. still couldnt do anything near what im technically capable of in shaking violently and trying not to hyperventilate— but i got through it? its done? i am alive and i have now realized that the worst moment of my life despite everything else ive been through was defined by my insecurity rather than an actual catastrophe- shocker.
i am 21 and i am nauseous in my room alone and still fuck up strumming kn the fucking UKELELE (i didnt think that was possible) because of the same overestimation of significance and perfectionism that took me DEEEYOOWWWNNN!! at 14.
its a nice reflection. idk how this can transfer to different situations but honestly i recommend it- i have now diluted the significance of an event that i have never gotten over ever in my life.
gives my brain more room for the good out there.
Dec 5, 2024
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i have totally been there, and i dont necessarily recommend doing what i did, but i eventually texted the person for Reasons, acknowledged that I humiliated myself, and they said they legitimately didn’t think about it or find what i did embarrassing at all, even if i believe that an objective source would disagree? not that they completely forgot, just that they didn’t think about it like that.
it’s annoying to hear, but you really are your own worst critic! and everyone does embarrassing shit, and something more embarrassing will happen to you eventually, and that’s okay! it’s part of being human i guess
Jan 31, 2025
Top Recs from @yaboiali
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definitely depends on the crowd, but this is a great opening song to duet with a friend :))) the explicit version hits diff
Apr 15, 2024
a wonderful documentary about a relatively untouched island strip off the coast of Canada where horses roam free and there's no one to govern or be governed. it's visually captivating - documenting the unique landscapes and characters of the island. powdery whites, blush pinks, soothing greens. it was shot on 16mm film and the director used experimental development techniques, developing the film in the island's seaweed, water, and sand to provide additional texture and biomarkers to the film.
if you're in the mood for a mystical, scientific, soothing watch, i would highly recommend :) it's available on cbcgems if you're in canada!
Apr 15, 2024
the boy i have feelings for is in love with someone else. he tells me about it frequently and is experiencing issues with his partner. he told me that if he could give me one piece of advice, it’d be to not fall in love. i’d like to do it out of spite tbh.
Apr 22, 2024