it starts off as a distraction but honestly the best way is opening yourself up to finding love and fulfillment in other things/relationships (not always romantic!) Spend quality time with your friends and family, try new things like going to a new restaurant or cafe, maybe pick up a new hobby or hobby you previously left behind. As you make room for these new things, the space this person took up in you will naturally get smaller and less noticeable until youāll realize you rarely think about how much you missed her.
Iām sorry youāre feeling this way but all things truly do pass š
Apr 20, 2024
Related Recs
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had times where me and the other person werenāt really in each otherās lives before dating so there wasnāt an existing shared community or anything to keep us in proximity to each other. kinda just follow those folks lightly on socials now but donāt really keep in touch. net zero not the worst.
had one time where the romantic relationship really didnāt work out, just lack of compatibility and not being what the other person needed, but the emotional connection and proximity/availability kept us both coming back to each other to maintain the relationship platonically. kind of resulted in a messy situation where boundaries were unclear and that just lead to more hurt and confusion than had we dealt with being apart and feeling alone in the moment and then come back together as friends after letting time pass. ultimately ended up cutting that person out of my life entirely after moving away and realizing in retrospect that I had allowed this person to violate a lot of my personal boundaries for the sake of feeling like I had someone I could confide in, and that they were taking advantage of me being a pushover to feel wanted/not alone.
all this to say, ask yourself: what is it that this person brings to your life outside of what comes exclusively from the romantic aspect of the relationship? if this person was simply available to you to spend time together, seek company from existing friends, or find a new community to be a part of. if this person was a close confidant and understood you in a way you felt seen by, maybe practice more vulnerability with your current friends/family/whoever and ask yourself what it is that makes you feel seen/appreciated in those relationships? seek that out! in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, itās going to seem like there is no one else that can take the space that person is leaving. but that doesnāt have to be the case, and investing in the non-romantic relationships you already have can address the valid needs that you have and strengthen your existing connections. romantic love is important, but other forms of love are just as fulfilling and crucial to your thriving! maybe with time you will come to notice that this person had something you value nonromantically and hopefully yāall can find a new place for each other in your lives, and that can be very rewarding! or maybe you will realize this person met certain unaddressed needs in the moment that you can find in other relationships. donāt feel the need to keep em around if thatās the case.
Mar 12, 2024
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take this lil romantic hiatus to invest in the other loved ones in your life. a lot of the pain from a breakup comes from losing the parts of your life that came with the other person - the places you would go, the habits you developed, the role emotionally they played in your life, etc. thing is you can find other folks in your life who can play those roles as well! if you have deep relationships in other areas of your life, the next breakup won't feel like losing a significant part of your life as much as losing one string of a spiderweb of people in your life. go invite friends out for 1 on 1 stuff, do things with big groups, find out what you can do in and of yourself to support yourself. it's easier to date and open yourself up to the risk of being hurt if the proportion of you that you're giving to this person up front isn't so big. you can give them more of the web over time as you grow together.
Apr 1, 2024
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The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someoneā(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means itās working. Sending you love ā¤ļø
Mar 16, 2024
Top Recs from @inpoortaste
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I feel like as you get older, friendships require a lot more effort and intention - you have to commit to wanting to be someoneās friend because everyone else is also an adult with so much going on in their lives! so people can seems a bit hostile and unwilling to open themselves up, but I would say the best way to make new friends is being the one to risk it first. You might be surprised as to how many people are willing to also open up once they know theyāre not going to be emotionally dismissed!
Apr 23, 2024
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All the best and worst bits about being a human and loving another human
Apr 18, 2024
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The atmospheric mystery hooks you right off the top and the worldbuilding is just *Chef's Kiss* - magical, eerie and slightly terrifying - a deceptively short read which is a perfect cure for a slump!
Apr 18, 2024