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my partner and i were presented with the opportunity to move into a friendâs slightly larger and more amenitied apartment up the block, but weâd have to break our lease to do so lol
listed our apartment on facebook marketplace to see if anyone was interested in signing the lease so we could move, essentially just putting out feelers and seeing what happened. did not expect to receive dozens upon dozens of messages! i scheduled tours and showed like six people around, all of whom were like where can i sign! and i called our landlord twice.
met with the landlord of the new place and got the paperworkâŚ.. truly in the final stepsâŚ. only to get home and realize, you know what,,, weâre staying here! and it was literally such a relief to say it.
did it take hundreds of messages from people begging for me to leave my apartment to truly viscerally process that iâve got a good thing? perhaps!
but i think it was more that i had been in a scarcity mindset of like, âwhen we move and i have more space iâll be able to⌠make the art i want; really feel at home; feel more comfortable; etc.â and when i really dug into those feelings about it, i simply knew that my home right now presents a growth opportunity to work creatively with the space i have.
didnât want to admit to myself that i was in that space of forcing things because i initially just wanted to move so badly, i was literally bypassing my felt experience and like, true reactions.
i also felt like it fell into our laps and was this once-in-a-lifetime thing. but really trying to now reinforce that a two bedroom w a dishwasher, balcony, and some bedrooms that look out onto the neighborsâ walls is not inimitable. and i want to approach this process from a space where im resourced and generally tranquil.
so iâm happy and iâm not moving and im going to buy myself an $8 latte this morning to celebrate!!!!
Apr 25, 2024
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Part rec, part documenting my headspace right now.
My last few moves in my city have been chaotic and unwanted, to say the least. After an incredibly stressful loss of my last apartment, I was so privileged to have been able to spend my last three years living alone for the first time in my life, healing myself and figuring out how to navigate life coming out of active survival mode.
I leave my little studio apartment in less than two weeks to move into a new place, choice I got to make for myself, and a living situation I get to plan for, rather than having been forced into.
I've always been able to make a home for myself anywhere I go, but this is the first time I get to do it because I made the choice to, not despite my circumstances.
It's feeling good!
May 18, 2025
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This weekend i left town at 4 am to roadtrip to (redacted big city) with my mom then just did a deep dive of towns in the metropolitan area. Having her with me was incredible. She knew to approach friendly strangers at gas stations and barber shops about how good of areas are these.
Then after gaining so much intel and hunting down so many rental signs. We grabbed dinner with some friends i have out in this area, 2 more people i also lean on quite a bit. To my surprise we didnât talk extensively about the hunt for places to the degree i assumed we would. Afterwards i went to a party with my friends and chatted with a friend of my friends about me working on making the leap.
I still have ways to go but have started to hear about people i know through a person who knows a person who knows a person who have job openings whom live over there and other rental properties that have popped up.
Basically alot of jotting info down, being proactive, and talking with people about it. Has been the move in making progress. And crossing my fingers i land what i want.
Feb 10, 2025
Threw my last house show
Owning a house and having a creative outlet this year has been such a blessing.
Thank you to my roommates, friends, and landlord. I love what I do and Iâm sad my lease is ending
May 24, 2025
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chicago hang success !! it was so lovely to meet everyone today <3 more plans incoming soon đĽmossyelfiejoe_m_millerbashfulchicken
Aug 18, 2024
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my sister just had a baby and i am considering the type of aunt?/guncle ? (the designation becomes tricky w gender lol) i may be. but ultimately the archetype of âcool auntââmysterious, distant-yet-warm, uninvolved in family dramas, arrives at family gatherings wearing strange, somehow stylish clothes, bearing copious gifts and floating on an air of urban lifeâresonates most soundly with me
this has also led me to reflect on how my momâs sister played such a key role in my  youth by revealing to me a foundational truth that this is not all that there is! âtwas a very hopeful message to me, a miserable child/teen unsuited to christian suburban life, forced to procure my wardrobe primarily from the womenâs section at the department store because that is what my mother deemed reasonable (and kohlâs cash)Â
some of the notable moments my aunt bestowed upon my adolescence include:
⢠taking me to see moonrise kingdom at the indie art deco theater in a nearby mountain townÂ
⢠driving me to philly for shows at tla even though she had no idea who the artists were and would stand in the back; also paying for all my meals and whims on our south street jaunts
⢠curating a collection of signed books from author visits at her local library, which sheâd always drop off nonchalantly as gifts (charles santore picture books, lemony snicket !)Â
⢠signing me up for 5ks and carting me along to her races
⢠explaining to me what a âlesbianâ is and taking me to meet said lesbians in a dimly lit new york restaurant where i tried alligator sausage and felt so urbaneÂ
⢠general trips to ny for broadway shows and museums Â
⢠introducing me to rummikub
⢠letting me roam free at community music festivals from late afternoon til dusk, where iâd encounter children from different counties, get in harmless trouble and infuse my life with the intrigue of those unknown to me but in those brief momentsÂ
Sep 25, 2024
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these landed all at once and iâm feeling tapped into a wellspring of compassion and gratitude
Dec 6, 2024