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collecting old kodak cameras

“death must be so beautiful…to forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace” (the bell jar) my grandmother recently passed away; she left behind a house full of delicate treasures i intend to treat with much care. there are a few things in life so beautiful they hurt—for me, that would be the predicament of inheritance i find myself in. how do you begin to enjoy someone else’s house full of things, if the home is empty and void of life? what is this death but a negligable accident that permits unbroken continuity? i found this Kodak 2000 disc camera, alongside a mountain of clothes, while going through my grandmother’s treasures. these seemingly miscellaneous things she eventually grew to omit the value in—seeing as they had been tucked away at the back of her closet—now hold much value for me. they serve as reminders of all her existence and livelihood. the camera in itself is pretty useless in terms of functionality considering the fact that disc film is a discontinued still-photography film format, but the sentimental value behind it renders it’s worthiness as a collectors item [unless of course, someone knows where i can find kodacolor HR disc film 15 exp.]

@madhearts

Oct 20, 2024

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embracing your own unavoidable heartbreak

wrote about death and my cat Stu (who is still very much alive!!!). it's weird but i like it.

@ethansawyer

Sep 20, 2024

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This is hard for me to answer!

Because these are the moments I cherish most in life, and they feel so integrated into who I am that it’s hard to recall them individually… * Going to reclaimed lumber yards, architectural salvage shops, quarries, plant nurseries, and the DUMP with my dad in his bright red '90s GMC Sierra. * Going to the alpaca farm with my family and seeing my mom get her hair eaten by a camel (see below photo which is a picture of a picture of our ancient family dome iMac—my dad managed to immortalize this moment forever. I’m the one with the denim hat). * Snow in the desert… almost never happened, but when it did, it was a big deal, so it’s still special to me every time I see snow living up north. * Every moment I spent with my dearly departed childhood pets and my own three pets that have passed. I feel lucky to have documented my time with my pets so thoroughly, so I can look back and remember every little moment. * Going to my grandparents’ house on the lake in the DFW area for Christmas. Before my grandmother developed dementia, she had a distant, chilly WASPish demeanor but showed her love through her homemaking. They had a beautiful home with the most relaxing and cozy atmosphere. I loved waking up early with her and my grandfather before everybody else, pouring a cup of freshly percolated coffee, and sitting in the sunroom reading the Dallas Morning News as the sun came up. The ticking of their clocks and the sounds of them puttering around in the kitchen, starting some elaborate breakfast, put me at ease. I had a very complicated relationship with my grandfather, to say the least (which you can read about in the attached link—I tried to embed it in this parenthetical but the link window is broken), but their house gave me a feeling of being home that I never had anywhere else.

@taterhole

Nov 28, 2024

Top Recs from @taterhole

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Starting over

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.” — Anaïs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share. I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay! Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me 💌

@taterhole

Mar 16, 2025

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Never changing

My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌

@taterhole

Feb 23, 2025

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Finally Quitting the job that you hate

Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ✅💅

@taterhole

Feb 27, 2025