I used to live in an extremely hot sunny dry climate and loved to show a lot of skin. I went through phases of different styles just trying things out. Junior year of high school people called me the sexy librarian; senior year my favorite style in high school was kinderwhore which gave off strange mixed messages and intimidated people I think but it was also appropriate for my off-putting hostile personality. I wore a lot of very short skimpy dresses or lingerie with sheer black tights and big sweaters on top and I loved to play with textures and layering. A family friend who was a semi famous musician in the 1990s-2000s was obsessed with my style and wanted to hire me as his assistant because he thought I was cool which i appreciated because none of my peers told me that to my face lol.
When I was a teenage dirtbag my everyday summer uniform was high-waisted denim short shorts, some variation of a Breton top, tank top + open chambray top layered on top, or see-through white drapey t-shirt/tank top with trashy lacey black bralette peeking through. Sometimes I would mix it up and wear a tutu. I wore low-top black converse or the Doc Martens Darcie boot. My friends and I thought we were the characters in Kids (1995) so that was quite the lifestyle.
Started to dress more feminine/glamorous and got really into wearing lush fabrics and vintage furs. Then I went back to a more androgynous look and would usually wear just high-waisted skinny pants of some kind with a black blazer. Then for a while I had a bohemian free spirit kind of vibe.
Wore a lot of miniskirts dressy tank tops and cropped blazers with sheer tights and heeled boots. then I started to examine the contradiction between my attention seeking clothing and my distaste for being openly ogled in public by strangers and decided to try dressing more modestly.
Overcorrected to a minimalist somewhat conservative style of dress and looked frumpy and shitty all the time but did command respect from people. Read about the Kibbe system (if you search you’ll probably find my post about it) and saw that I’m a theatrical romantic and that David Kibbe recommends that I wear delicate flowy clothing that accentuates my shape rather than trying to balance it out or cover it.
I gave away like 80% of my wardrobe and now I’m in the process of figuring out what that looks like in a way that I’m comfortable with, finding the balance between drawing attention and trying to completely hide myself. For casual wear I’m mostly wearing high-waisted skinny jeans, camisoles with lace trim, and usually some kind of cropped jacket on top. Still love to wear maximalist glam clothes and lots of furry textures in the winter.
I have mostly followed a strict no athleisure no tennis shoes policy for most of my adult life. I like to wear leather slip-on shoes with a moderate stacked heel. Feeling drawn back to bomber jackets. Experimenting with drawstring waist and paper bag waist pants that are tapered at the ankle. Considering buying harem pants. I’m thinking I will probably go back to a more bohemian style to project my inner warmth and affability instead of scaring people away by appearing cold and standoffish. so it’s a work in progress of getting my swag back…
May 5, 2024
Related Recs
🧥
I really love clothes. I can't help but sink most of my money into my wardrobe. I've had lots of different eras with what I wear and each stemmed from a fascination/obsession with something.
Growing up in the peak of the vintage store era made me dress so (arguably too) creatively when I was a teen. We had a really amazing and generally well priced vintage shop that was filled with one off pre-80s pieces. I used to go out clubbing when I was 18 in 50s and 60s cocktail dresses. This was a great way to be ostracized by my peers who did not get it yet, especially as a weird looking teen, but yet I persisted. This era fused with an 'all black everything' The Cure/Bauhaus/Jesus and Mary Chain era of chunky boots, black skinny jeans and leather.
At 19 I moved to Paris to be an au pair and was determined to assimilate. I received copies of Caroline de Maigret's 'How to be Parisian' and Ines de la Fressange's 'Parisian Chic' and I haven't looked back since. My style is still so influenced by those books and Parisian style in general. I like wearing a mixture of simple and fun clothes. My daily uniform is almost always a graphic tee/shirt/plain jumper and wide leg jeans/tailored trousers/midi length skirt. I like my dresses to be bias cut and mid length. I love wearing suits. I like contrasting feminine and masculine pieces together. I have a huge amount of jackets. I like solid colours and rarely wear patterns. I wear a lot of black but I'm trying to change that. I generally don't wear jewellery. The only accessories I wear are sunglasses, so I have a massive collection. Same for shoes and bags. I walk a lot so I mostly wear trainers, and I don't drive so I invest in good shoes that are as comfortable as possible because they are my car.
My wardrobe is pretty androgynous and I regularly buy from the men's section. I have wide hips though (romantic kibbe) so it's taken some experimentation and some acceptance that clothes will never look the same on me as they do on men. My biggest style influences are Nick Cave (suits, shoes, textures) and Penelope Gazin (fun, hot, playful).
May 6, 2024
đź‘š
my current style is an amalgamation of all that i’ve loved throughout the years of my style evolution and remains ever changing. in highschool, i loved casual and comfy streetwear looks. in college i dressed primarily in pastels and cutesy looks with the occasional dark, romantic element thrown in. i wore uniforms or had strict dress codes for work so i went all out at school since i felt comfy wearing things like classic or gothic lolita looks in the fine arts building. i also discovered mori kei (forest style, she became very important to me later) at this time.
fast forward to now and i’m majorly into the naturalistic and comfy approach. mori kei still has my heart, as i'm nothing but a creature of this earth. i love to juxtapose the masculine and feminine, such as a men’s flannel and a lacy dress. i still love a romantic or gothic element from time to time. as i’ve gotten older, ive began to value slower consumption habits, higher quality/durability and natural fibers. i shop nearly exclusively secondhand now so my style isn’t exactly based in trend.
again, it’s hard for me to give all this a name. i’ve been told artsy, eccentric and hippy-like but regardless i’m comfy and cute! oh, i can’t forget lots and lots of band tees! also no reds or yellows as i have severe yellow undertones and i’m not sure if jaundice-core is a thing yet.
May 5, 2024
đź‘ś
comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
Top Recs from @taterhole
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
— Anaïs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share.
I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial and logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay!
Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me đź’Ś
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too 💌
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately âś…đź’…
Feb 27, 2025