romantic gestures (grand or small, whatever youâre into) balanced with honesty, understanding, acceptance, patience, communication and trust. compromise is important too but within reason! you shouldnât compromise to the point where you lose yourself or feel like youâre settling for the sake of love and the person you love shouldnât want that either. also, a lot of people want to be in a relationship for the sake of company and companionship and fail to see the other as their own person. so have standards, even if that means you wonât be in a relationship right away. love means being able to be an individual and appreciated as such. love should not be your identity, your identity should be present in how you love. i donât know i have a very practical but fantastical approachâŚmaybe itâs my taurus venus. personally i fancy a little fun and humor as well. if i canât be silly with my lover i donât want it.
May 14, 2024
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iâm definitely a hopeless romantic but i think i have a good sense of realistic expectations in (romantic) love. so obviously i hope i find someone thatâs like the loml but i understand how rare that is!
and i find it much more important to spend time appreciating love for yourself and others and nature and so on. all loves are important and abundant when you embrace them! maybe related â i know itâs the generational norm but dating apps feel way too unnatural to me.
i also think when we talk about âlove of your lifeâ itâs always finite; i believe itâs more normal/realistic to have someone be the love of your life at a specific point in your life, and later you maybe part ways when you realize your lives and selves have separately evolved from that time.
but i know so many people who define their lives/future over being in their specific relationship (regardless if itâs monogamous or not!) and i have found that is unhealthy and unsustainable. i think you can get so deep into a relationship that you drown in it!
May 14, 2024
now i am a very lucky person because i am in love with some who was once one of my best friends. (sadly this rec probably isnât universally applicable but contains good lessons i hope!) iâd met him during the first week of freshman year of college, and we immediately became close. hung out a ton and related on a lot of issues/values but our interactions were always platonic.
by wintertime we were being seen together around campus a ton, to the point that our acquaintances started asking whether we were a couple. weâd laugh at the idea, even joking about it ourselves. oh how oblivious we were.
spring rolled around and i suddenly caught feelings. for a couple weeks i tried to convince myself i didnât like him because i was so afraid of losing our beautiful friendship. i thought it impossible that he would feel the same as me. yes, pretty torturous!! alas, my Emotional Suppression didnât work. thank god, because one night when we were hanging out in my room he finally kissed me. i had been so afraid but instantly i knew it was right. the risk was worth it.
weâve now been together for almost two years and he is truly the love of my life. he is the best risk Iâve ever taken. yes this is so platitudinous, but sometimes love comes when you least expect it and appears in odd places!
more generally, i think
- looking for people whose values align with yours is a wonderful place to start establishing intimate and long-lasting relationships, both platonic and romantic.
- itâs never worthwhile to force something to work out if your gut tells you itâs wrong â youâre worth more than that. love doesnât thrive when itâs fed by obligation and pressure.
- donât be afraid to present yourself in your full authenticity to others. if someone else has a problem with You in your Grandest Expression, theyâre not worth your energy. love is meant to affirm and expand who you are, not place boundaries on it.
- go on self dates and explore what it means to have a loving relationship with yourself! you, as a singular self, are already whole and enough without having a partner. you are complete as a baseline regardless of your relationship status; a partner is meant to complement and embrace this wholeness!!
love is ridiculous and hard and beautiful; trust it when you feel it!!
Nov 10, 2024
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i think of love as an ongoing earnest conversation. itâs about laying your cards on the table with full trust and trying to do and give your best. we say falling in love very colloquially but loving necessitates intentionality and relevant expression. to do that, you need to be ok with constantly re-examining the terrain of your relationships and willing to honestly communicate needs and wants. love requires a lot from you but itâs so incredibly worth it to watch the eyes of the person you love light up because you tried for them. applies to other forms of love not just romantic of course!
May 15, 2024
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liking ur rec = saying hi when we go to get our morning papers from the end of our driveways (picture me doing so tony soprano style)
Aug 12, 2024
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she canât see my bank account so itâs ok.
Mar 21, 2025
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started writing this a few hours ago when i first saw this ask, then decided against posting but i've since changed my mind. there really is no justification for it outside of entitlement. even from a selfish lens, there's no long term benefit to its usage. it harms the world and culture in more ways than one.
a.) the water and energy usage that isn't a secret at this point. "no ethical consumption under capitalism" yadda yadda and yeah corporations are extremely culpable in the state of the environment but there really is no need for chatgpt and the planet is already too delicate at the moment.
b.) the exploitation of workers in the global south. this program is not just a computer figuring it all out, there are in fact humans behind it. it reminds me of the acceptance of fast fashion and how people have the tendency to divorce the idea of the garment worker from the garment they wear when all clothing is handmade in some way, shape or form. you need hands to man a sewing machine, you need human eyes to moderate content. also, content moderation can be a thankless job with psychological repercussions.
c.) the erosion of social skills, humanity and media literacy...this one is very personal. like, you have a cushy email job but can't write an email? you need a computer and a worker in kenya to get paid a dollar an hour to figure out a daily routine for you? i've seen the program churn out blatantly incorrect information. fine tuning a prompt or chat or whatever to give you the exact (possibly incorrect) answer you need isn't really that much less work than sharpening your research skills by cracking open a dictionary or using boolean search keys in google. again, the main issue with this kind of stuff is the entitlement to convenience, with no thought towards the repercussions within and outside of us. we are losing major recipes (critical thinking and media literacy) here, people!
i probably did an iffy job are coherently articulating my thoughts here but i am in fact, human. and thatâs the beauty of it all.
Oct 1, 2024