to be hit with an out of body romanticization of in short fleeting moments
May 21, 2024

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yesterday, I sat in a movie theater, watching a 5/5 film, but somewhere between the frames, I slipped away in my own world. my eyes wandered around the room, scanning the foam-lined walls, the dust resting on cushioned seats, the soft glow of the screen flickering against strangers' faces. for a moment, I was no longer in the film— I was in my own world, watching, unnoticed, in a room full of people, feeling as though i am in a film myself. it happens in the classroom too— pens scratching, pages turning, heads bent in deep concentration. and yet, I lift my gaze, watching the quiet rhythm of work, as if the scene before me is unfolding on a screen, as if I am only passing through. maybe it’s a habit of slipping between worlds. one foot in reality, the other in observation. caught between being present and stepping back, seeing life not just as it is, but as a scene, a story, a moment unfolding. perhaps that’s the beauty of it — to exist both within and outside, to live and to notice, to be part of something yet still see it from afar.
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maybe living feels so dull at times that overhearing what’s going on in a stranger’s life becomes insanely intriguing. there’s something deeply introspective about getting a glimpse into someone else’s world, like realising how different their life might be, yet just as vivid, messy, and complex as your own. perhaps in the middle of that random curiosity you might even catch a flicker of something familiar… a shared feeling, a similar struggle, resembling mannerisms... humans, am i right? 🌠
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it’s almost like a small-scale external meditation to me. at random points i try to hyper focus on everything - how the light is hitting something, the surrounding sounds, how something feels on my skin, the scents of the moment, what unconscious movement someone (or myself) is making. try to see, hear, feel, smell as much world as possible.
Jan 9, 2025

Top Recs from @chilipequeen

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Meeting the status quota and waking up and living our lives day after day. Making time if we are lucky for friends and family if we aren’t too overwhelmed. Seeing the weeks and months passing by while also uncomfortably aware of what is happening in the greater picture of social political regression, and environmental degradation. While we all just try to make it to the end of the week have a couple days to recover and then it starts over again. Feeling tired and overly aware of the things we should do, call our mom, fight injustice, get a coffee with an old friend, start that business we have been talking about for year, partake in a hobby you set aside months ago and never finished, and fight for democracy.
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