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Sincerity and solitude

I have many Ideas. I ponder over them like an obsessive collector; organizing, re-organizing, packing them into words so the meaning is captured, transferable. Most of my transformative experiences are unexplainable - how does one capture the depth of a still, silent night? The whispering of leaves in warm summer breezes. Vague feelings of wholism while sitting in the grass, photosynthesizing like plant ancestors - a fish swims without direction. Many call it god but the church is alienating; the word massacred and butchered beyond the recognition of what it once meant. One idea I have kept unmolested by the opinions of others, is that these holistic experiences in nature, with friends, live music shows, where the pulse of life beats strongly, are everything. An anchor point for a life well lived. It’s not enough to just be in nature, alchemizing the circumstance missing the key ingredient. A couple of friends and I went on a trip to where the ocean went on forever, unbroken horizon. We were down by the water, sunset and glistening, warmth of the sun and sand beneath my feet. But it was nothing more than looking. I did not have access to this other way of being - locked out, truthfully, by being eaten alive by the stress of exams and stewing in the feelings of being unlovable. It is somehow within you; the trees and ocean reflect it back to me. A quality of self brought out by sincerity and solitude. It’s everything, reflected in everything worthwhile.

@sun

Apr 17, 2024

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Clam, Mary Oliver

Each one is a small life, but sometimes long, if its place in the universe is not found out. Like us, they have a heart and a stomach; they know hunger, and probably a little satisfaction too. Do not mock them for their gentleness, they have a muscle that loves being alive. They pull away from the light. They pull down. They hold themselves together. They refuse to open. But sometimes they lose their place and are tumbled shoreward in a storm. Then they pant, they fill with sand, they have no choice but must open the smallest crack. Then the fire of the world touches them. Perhaps, on such days, they too begin the terrible effort of thinking, of wondering who, and what, and why. If they can bury themselves again in the sand they will. If not, they are sure to perish, though not quickly. They also have resources beyond the flesh; they also try very hard not to die.

@nadiyaelyse

Aug 17, 2024

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not sure what this is saying and i wrote it

i toss and i turn with the pillow staying put, welcoming a new wave of anxiety with each movement 2:18 on the clock and the fan adds more momentum to my unattainable thoughts buried in the need to see, and learn the unknown yet, i lay on the surface as a parched rock in the middle of my favorite beach, reeking of the current simplicities of life though its surely a blessing in disguise which i might recall five years from now standing by, holding onto my innocence, waiting to believe in a miracle or see a comet pass by in the dark night sky

@macar0ni2

Mar 1, 2025

Top Recs from @marxinista

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being a nerd about stuff

being traditionally cool is really quite boring and iterative, and it’s actually very cool and sexy to geek out about something you like or share bits of knowledge on a topic you’re passionate about

@marxinista

Aug 17, 2024

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not being on tiktok

i had it for a little over a year until i was like wow this is actually terrible! i genuinely think it has negatively impacted society by ruining people’s attention spans, having a horrific algorithm, and most of all by the most mind-numbing or outright harmful trends - fake words that people now use IRL (“unalive”), trad wife tiktok, shein hauls, body-focused fitness vids that encourage fatphobia and unhealthy habits, shallow political/feminist theory and queer discourse, “alpha male” podcaster tiktok, encouraging overconsumption in general, trends ruining local spots or niche things… the list goes on

@marxinista

Aug 17, 2024

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electronics in fun colors

a million times cooler than the lackluster “sleek” tech color palette used today

@marxinista

Feb 22, 2025