by Olivia Gatwood
what I mean is that when my grandmother
called to ask why I didnât respond to her letter,
all I heard was, Why didnât you
text me back? Why donât you love me?
And how can I talk about my grandmother
without also mentioning that if everyone is a teen girl, then so are the birds, their soaring
cliques, their squawking throats,
and the sea, of course, the sea,
its moody push and pull, the way we drill
into it, fill it with our trash, take and take
and take from it and still it holds us
each time we walk into it.
What is more teen girl than not being
loved but wanting it so badly
that you accept the smallest crumbs and call
yourself full; what is more teen girl than
my fatherâs favorite wrench, its eternal loyalty
and willingness to loosen the most stubborn of bolts;
what is more teen girl than my motherâs chewed
nail beds, than the whine of the floorboards in herÂ
house?
What is more teen girl than my dog, Jack,
whose bark is shrill and unnecessary,
who has never once stopped a burglar
or heeled on command but sometimes
when I laugh, his tail wags
so hard it thumps against the wall, sometimes
it sounds like a heartbeat, sometimes I yell at him
for talking too much, for his messy room,
sometimes I put him in pink, striped polos
and I think he feels pretty,
I think he likes to feel pretty,
I think Jack is a teen girl.
and the mountains, oh, the mountains,
what teen girls they are, those colossal show-offs,
and the moon, glittering and distant
and dictating all of our emotions.
My loverâs tender but heavy breath while she sleeps
is a teen girl, how it holds me and keeps
me awake all at once, how I sometimes wish
to silence it, until she turns her body and
the room goes quiet and suddenly I want it back.
Imagine the teen girls gone from our world,
and how quickly we would beg for their return,
how grateful would we be then for their loudÂ
enthusiasm
and ability to make a crop top out of anything.
Even the men who laugh their condescending laughs
when a teen girl faints at the sight of her
favorite pop star, even those men are teen girls,
the way they want so badly to be so big
and important and worshipped by someone.
Pluto, the teen girl, and her rejection
from the popular universe,
and my father, a teen girl, who insists he doesnât
believe in horoscopes but wants me to tell
him about the best traits of a Scorpio,
I tell him, We are all just teen girls,
and my father, having raised me, recounts the time heÂ
found the box of love notes and condom wrappers IÂ
hid in my closet, all of the bloody sheets, the missingÂ
socks,
the radio blaring over my pitchy sobs,
the time I was certain I would die of heartbreak and in a moment was in love with a small, new boy,
and of course there are the teen girls,
the real teen girls, huddled on the subway
after school, limbs draped over each otherâs shoulders
bones knocking, an awkward wind chime
and all of the commuters, who plug in theirÂ
headphones
to mute the giggle, silence the gaggle and squeak,
not knowing where they learned to do this,
to roll their eyes and turn up the music,
not knowing where they learned this palpable rage,
not knowing the teen girls are our most distinguished
professors, who teach us to bury the burst
until we close our bedroom doors,
and then cry with blood in the neck,
foot through the door, face in the pillow,
the teen girls who teach us to scream.
Jul 2, 2024
Related Recs
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In cinema, women who take pride in their appearance by investing time in their makeup, hair, and outfits while also indulging in the finer things in life are commonly villainised.
Whether it is loving to splurge on materialistic things, such as expensive clothes and jewellery, handbags, or shoesâthe portrayed women are usually always the antagonist.
Take Highschool musical. Sharpay, a woman who prided herself on her appearance was solely obsessed with status and boys.
The Devil Wears Prada. Andy was portrayed to be less inclined with her appearance and therefore the most âkind-heartedâ character within her workplace, while the other ladies who were equally diligent at their jobs and who also worked equally long hours and busted their butts were portrayed to be snubbish and rude. As Andy then moved on to change her appearance, she maintained her self respect but lost it from her partner (to me this heavily reinforced the notion that âboys donât like women who spend money on their looks blah blah blah they just want a ârealâ woman) due to her changing appearance and her dedication to her job.
Legally Blonde. She never did it for herself in the first place, she did it to prove herself to her ex-boyfriend. She ended up becoming an awesome lawyer at the end but I hated that she started off ditsy and they couldnât even get her character to be somewhat professional for a Harvard Interview tape, really undermining her professionalism.
Grease. Dany loved Sandy. AND SHE STILL CHANGED HER WHOLE STYLE FOR HIM AT THE VERY END.
In these these movies, itâs also common for the more âtom-boyishâ women to tear down the more âfeminineâ women, which in my personal experience unconsciously led me down the same behaviour path while I was in my impressionable teen years. Women so focused on tearing other women down.
For the longest time growing up, I detested the colour pink and I hated wearing makeup and dresses. Instead, I skateboarded and played soccer and video games on my DS and PSP (which I loved to do) while I was secretly jealous of my sisterâs pink barbie dolls and sparkly dresses. All these movies that I grew up watching, although I didnât know it then, looked down on the idea of enjoying the feminine things in lifeâespecially to get a boys attention. As an insecure kid, it really messed me up, thinking the only way I could get a boys attention was rejecting the things I secretly liked. What young girls needed was a mix of representation of strong women while not vilifying a lifestyle. It took a lot of self-reflection and development as well as maturity to unlearn the inherent behaviour patterns that I learnt through the media I was consuming. Especially unlearning the phrase a lot of teen girls are familiar with: âgirls are too much drama.â
No, girls are not too much drama.
It is okay to like pink, to like makeup and dresses, to be materialistic and enjoy collecting shoes and bags. The right man/partner for you wonât care what you choose to do with your appearance, but will encourage you to be happy. And most importantly, you will be happy.
As a 23 year old Civil Engineer by trade, women are awesome. No matter their style preference or job choice. I like materialistic things, I get my nails done once a month, and my eyebrows done once a fortnight, and I love to shop for clothes and handbags. But Iâd also like to believe this isnât my soul personality trait, I like to go to the gym, I am a big gamer and I love to read, Iâve been watching anime since I was nine, and playing in the mud on rainy days is still a fun secret hobby of mine.
I also would like to believe that I am a good person who is also good at what I do, and that I also possess my own drives and passions, despite my love for pink and Christian Dior.
Jan 23, 2025
đ©°
women who run with wolves, women who run with rats.
the true ultimate bonding activity for you and the girls. because youâll never forget how they sheltered you when you were low.
one of the most liberating rituals I perform in New York is popping a squat in between parked cars or a dark corner and letting it all goâŠ. wild wild women we are deemed to be.
they may look down upon us because perhaps it isnât âpoliteâ. But when youâre bursting at the seams, why must we settle for discomfort? Whatâs a girl to do? We are not graced with simplicity to turn to the wallâ subtly concealed without judgement. Our anatomy binds us to the confines of bearing it all in a squat. With added complexity given the outfit of choice. And always the obstacle of not splattering our cute shoes. but id only be telling you a falsehood if I said peeing outdoors isnât so enjoyable whether it be in the middle of a forest or the city street. Even when all odds may be stacked against you.
Only God can judge me. But God is a woman anyway.
Feb 13, 2024
Top Recs from @stinkylittleman27
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bars:
* rainbo club
* california clipper
* inner town pub
* sleeping village
* best intentions
* the hi-lo
* easy does it
* outside voices
* the owl (but only after the 2am bars close)
pizza:
* pequods
* malnatiâs
(deep dish is a myth and no chicagoan actually eats that)
breakfast:
* lula cafe
*flying saucer
* middlebrow (also for lunch or dinner)
* allez cafe
* kasama
lunch/dinner:
* 90 miles cuban cafe
* club lucky
* rootstock
* all together now
* yours truly
* elske (fancy, michelin star)
i prob have more but i havenât lived there in 3 years (plus 2 years of covid) so i havenât experienced chicago in its full glory since 2019 đ„Č
Jul 2, 2024
Jun 30, 2024
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the best, most human piece of writing to ever exist. it is my belief every person to walk the earth needs to read this. it is a gift.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your kneesfor a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.Â
Jul 1, 2024
