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"When we are baffled by the insanity of the "other side"âin our politics, at work, or at home-it's because we aren't seeing how the conflict itself has taken over.
That's what "high conflict" does. It's the invisible hand of our time. And it's different from the useful friction of healthy conflict. That's good conflict, and it's a necessary force that pushes us to be better people.
High conflict, by contrast, is what happens when discord distills into a good-versus-evil kind of feud, the kind with an us and a them. In this state, the normal rules of engagement no longer apply. The brain behaves differently. We feel increasingly certain of our own superiority and, at the same time, more and more mystified by the other side."
I found the concept of high conflict extremely useful in my own life and it makes a lot of interactions make sense. Once you know what it is, you see it everywhere, and you can easily identify when you enter it. High conflict at the root of every culture war. Now that I know the topics I enter into high conflict about, I simply avoid them unless I'm in an intimate conversation with trusted peers where actual conversation can take place.
Jul 3, 2024
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I think in order to effect mass change traditional social media sites would have to either radically transform or die because I do believe theyâre one of the root causes of hateful thinking patterns in society along with 24/7 rage bait media. people are so locked into their informational bubbles that itâs like people with different beliefs almost live in entirely different realities.
If we all could learn and aspire to practice nonviolent communication that would also make a huge difference. And as a leader I would say itâs helpful to implement non-hierarchical organizational structures and allow everyone to have input to foster a culture of respect, collaboration, and openness through techniques like Liberating Structures.
the PDF Iâve linked is a great resource thatâs specifically about leading collective impact working groups, but I think the principles, actionable steps, and resources it lays out in Module 3: How to Build a Culture of Collaboration, Module 4: How to Put Systems Thinking into Practice, and Module 5: How to Engage with Community Members could be helpful for anyone who wants to make positive social changes as a leader.
Oct 4, 2024
idk if we're doing Kindness Weekâit seems like itâso I'm reccing this book which validated and rewired the way I see the world. It dismantles the assumptions people have about our base nature and helps you realize how many in power cherry pick data and tell a story that divides us by making us more fearful and distrustful of each other.
if you don't know Rutger, he's the guy who told the billionaires at Davos they were immoral hoarders of wealth and then made Tucker Carlson crash out.
May 13, 2025
What can I say about this that hasnât already been said?
Having grown up on Twitter and seeing first hand the rise of the right wing conspiracy theory movement, to the point the app became miserable and unusable, understanding the specifics of how this happened was fascinating and I couldnât put it down.
The chapters on Israel/Palestine and the history of the âJewish questionâ was really important to read and I havenât been able to stop discussing it with people at every opportunity. Naomiâs account of her time in Palestine, dealing with the IDF is really shocking if ultimately unsurprising.
I really feel like this is one of the most essential reads of the 21st century.
Sep 10, 2024
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I feel like 12 is a wonderful place to start. 1 book a month. Keep it in your bathroom. Beside your bed. Where you eat your meals. Please read this year. It's one of the best things you can do for yourself. and for me, and for everyone who you'll tell, I'm reading again, and you should read with me too. Take pictures or screencaps of passages and send them to your friends. Read funny, easy books, evil and upsetting books, books that are boring but are still satisfying to finish. Go to the library. Challenge yourself. You will feel better, you'll feel proud of yourself, and you'll banish the negative moodlet of being mad or ashamed at yourself for not reading. It's ok that you haven't been. You had your reasons and it doesn't do any good to beat up on yourself. That was then and this was now. Start a book tomorrow bc it is a new day :)
Jan 1, 2025
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I don't listen to any AI generated playlists because I prefer to hear ones curated by people. I love sharing music as a human to human thing. It's also dismaying how music streaming services prioritize the songs of artists whose management pay them, etc.
It's so fun to simply browse anonymous person's curated lists instead on top of sharing with friends. It's never been easier to peek into someone else's semi-private music preference and walk their landscape. Just today I found a person who's made dozens of playlists for specific beanie babies (!), all with no saves or likes.
We don't need AI driven sorting to develop taste and find things we like. Break out of the corral with me and run free. Let's see what's over the hill
Aug 6, 2024
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be giving, accept graciously, be thankful, withdraw when it's wise
Jul 20, 2024