i’ll be 27 soon and still living at home because it’s expensive to breath at the moment. im grateful to have a mom that didn’t kick me out at 18 and helps me out so much, but i grew up really sheltered and she’s only loosened up fairly recently as my younger siblings get older. she very much had (has? idk) issue with seeing me as a teenager and not an adult. she was weird about me drinking, weird about dating, even weird about me using tampons for a while...she meant well but i think as her oldest it was hard for her to accept me growing up.
i used to dye my hair crazy colors and i finally got her to be like ok but no bleach and i said ok knowing full well i needed bleach. so i just used bleach. after years of me dying my hair she finally found out when i stopped dyeing. by that time it was too late to say anything. i wouldnt tell her the full truth about where i was going and what i was doing until way after i made it home in one piece. within reason though bc genuinely i wanted to respect her and the roof she helps keep over my head!
if she’s like “oh that shirt is very cropped” im just like “yes and i bought it.” little things like that. as long as im not a freeloader i dont see the issue with respecting my autonomy.
anyways my mom is very much not the kind to talk back to but if i could slowly push a limit, i would. you gotta let adulthood take the reign and they will have to just deal. it sounds harsh but also not nearly as scary as it seems.