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I've ended up inadvertently in an extended period of solitude thanks to a series of traumatic and stressful life events between 2022 - early 2024. I've only recently realised quite how much I cut myself off from everybody in my life to be by myself under the guise that it would make me feel better (my health has also just been in the gutter and I've been too exhausted but we move). Even if socialising makes me soooo tired it does ultimately make me feel so much better as a human being to feel seen and not just allowed to fester inside my own brain. This week I had three whole social engagements and I feel so much more mentally energised!! I'm forcing myself to actually show up for plans and not cancel them and to meet new people and I think it is working. I think if you just keep doing it over and over again eventually it stops feeling so out of reach? Will share my findings
Jul 14, 2024
Related Recs
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After sustained isolation and loneliness, spending time with other people can be a much-needed grounding, humbling experience
Invite people over! Hop on the train / in the car to visit a friend! Go to new places and meet new people. Start a movie club, meet up at a café, embark on an open-ended collaborative creative endeavor. Give yourself many excuses to get out of your apartment, and do whatever you've gotta do to put yourself in the presence of other human beings. It's good for regulating your emotional state and ego. It fills a certain part of you that may be empty without you even knowing it
This is especially true for spending time with people who are *different* from you: people who have different talents, people who do crazy drugs you'd never do, people who spend their time in different places than you, even people you might kind of hate! The contrast can be stressful but that's just because you're using more brain power to place yourself in relation to these other people in the moment. But the long-term payoff will make you feel whole, and the world will start making a bit more sense. And once all is said and done, the feeling of returning to your apartment, or of cleaning up and lighting a candle after you've had visitors of your own, will have made it worth all the while
Feb 2, 2025
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growing up I spent a majority of my time alone. I was pretty socially anxious and insecure but I also just had niche hobbies and interest that I enjoyed in solitude since it was hard to find others to share them with. as i’ve gotten older i’ve realized how quickly solitude can become isolation and I found (when deprived by the pandemic and other life changes around that time) that i had a deep need for community and friendship that I had neglected.
now i’m a lot more comfortable in my own skin and confident socially, and while an empty day at home used to be very comforting to me I can’t stand them now. I need to get out of the house and at least be around others haha.
opposite to mouse‘s lyric, I took the myers briggs and swapped all my Is for Es
Jun 13, 2024
Top Recs from @caskeyc
May 21, 2025
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1. Don't set an alarm and wake up naturally. Snooze for however long you want to, it's okay
2. Have breakfast. For me it's toast. Have it with butter/jam/honey and a lot of water and coffee and juice.
3. Listen to an album in full and do some puzzles until it ends. I like to stick a record on and do the nyt games (connections, then wordle, then the mini, then I'm ready for a crossword)
4. Shower and use all your best stuff. Smell great. Make your hair feel soft.
5. Wear an outfit you don't get to wear that often. I tend to wear the same thing over and over at work so I wear something a bit more fun and less practical.
6. Go outside. I live near a road with secondhand shops that are great browsing but quite tempting on a budget. To beat the temptation just look in the windows and then walk round the streets or to a green space if it's a nice day. Walk as fast or as slow as you like. Try and spot cats that might let you stroke them. See how each place you go smells different. Walk down streets that you've not been down before just because.
7. Come home and decide how much energy you have. If you have energy do an activity (I would write, play an instrument, do some art, read, play a game) if you don't then watch something from your watchlist. Saturdays feel like a good day to watch something new.
8. Cook yourself a meal. Start before you're hungry and spend ages on it. Use every pot. Listen to music. Sing whilst you wash the dishes.
9. Play! Video games, board games, internet games, card games, phone games, rearrange your plushies, embrace your inner child. Play with ideas, experiment with felt tip pens, write a limerick. Get silly with it.
10. Talk to your friends. Invite them over, call somebody up, text that person back you didn't have time to. I like to spend a good day off by myself then have a great time talking to people after I've recharged.
11. Have so much fun getting to do whatever you want you fall asleep at whatever time. Monday - Friday is about appeasing your body clock, Saturdays are for filthy pleasures like falling asleep at 3am because you were too busy flirting or reading or watching videos.
Apr 16, 2024
