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Backstory: Im crushing so hard on a tattoo artist near my job and am delusionally convinced she’s my soulmate. We coincidentally have matching tattoos of the cover art for faces by mac miller high on the thigh. (for full story go look at my asks)
Update: aight… went to the tattoo shop’s 8th anniversary event just to kinda be present and participate in the art community in Puerto Rico bc I’m having trouble finding ppl I relate too and I think I can make friends w them. Didn’t rly get to chat with her much, she was being a little distant and I wasn’t going to corner her or anything. I ended up getting some flash that was super cool. after my tat was finished late that night I went for a walk to shake off the nerves of the pain n shit. Ended up getting a strange feeling to buy a bunch of ice creams for everyone in the tattoo shop party so I walked far as hell and bought like 20-30 ice creams from a 24hr bodega and came back to pass them out to everyone for free. Boom. wonderful success and made so many ppl smile. Now the shop owner n community know me and recognize my chill.
Additionally: I could not get this girl out of my head. Like I never rly date and I fr don’t like talking to girls. Im rly hyper-isolated but it’s my own doing. But she Was driving me crazy. I ended up buying her the Book of Mac memoir and planned to give it to her as a gift/tip at our booked tattoo session. I had a feeling that she’d rly like it. But that wasn’t enough. I became manic and over the course of three sessions I made her a mac miller mix. Ive attached it for u all to listen. This might’ve been overkill and I was second guessing it the whole time but I did it anyway because I’m not a pussy.
Finally: get to the tat session and was greeted with a kiss on the cheek (polite and customary for Puerto Ricans but she was rly friendly about it and she initiated). When she finished setting up our station I sit down and pull out the book. Inside the book I had written to: (her name) from: (me) and a short quote from BMO (adventure time) because it kinda just felt right. tell her hey I got this for you, I think I have a crush on you idk, but yeah this is for you. Bruh… she melted. She was like soooooooooooo happy. She had a mask on cuz she was sick but she said underneath she was blushing super hard.
we start the tattoo and I ask if I can just talk to her while she does it. I’m rly shy and not the best at convo but throughout the entire tattoo I just picked her brain to try and get to know her. Bruh… we r so alike. Like mind blowingly alike. Talked about music and movies and clothes. But she was kinda dry and quick w her chatting. It took a while for her to warm up a bit and relax. Plus I’m funny so she was giggling after every other thing I said. Teased her a bit. Flirted a bit. But nothing too heavy. By the end of the tattoo session we were on aux together going back and forth w songs talking about why we like them n stuff. Like at this point I can tell we’re friends. Finally the tat is finished and it’s great. She’s an apprentice and not super experienced but it was exactly what I wanted. As we were saying our goodbyes she thanks me again for the book. I told her I had one more thing to give her but she had to give me her number first… she freaks out a little bit. I say no pressure obviously, but she’s like “yes pressure“ I’m like what?? She gives me her number and gives me a super quick and tight hug. Idk how to describe it but it was like a shy, fast “I need to hug you before anyone sees” hug. as I’m walking out the shop I text her the link to the mix n head home.
I get home, she texts saying thanks for the mix that it’s rly cool and thanks again for the book. and then…. She tells me she’s dating someone 🥴 and didn’t know how to tell me in person and froze when I asked for her number n if its alright if we’re just friends. I ate that punch, said hey no prob we can be friends, which is totally fine like I fr don’t mind, but the thing is I KNOW MY WHOLE SCHEME WORKED. Like the way she was reacting to me and how comfortable she got and how cool our convo was like I know she recognized how cool I was. And she told me I was rly cool like she texted saying she thinks im cool. So like… fuck. Idk. and She didn’t even say she has a boyfriend, she just said she’s dating someone so it doesn’t even sound serious. Idk what to do. She didn’t respond to my last text. so this is where we stand. I think I fucked her world up tho. No way she’s not thinking about me now.
What do yall think?
Jul 19, 2024
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"dating someone" prob means committed exclusive? ice cream supplying the function is a sick play i gotta use that sometime
Jul 19, 2024
royallmonarch Yeah I understood it as exclusive but just tryna wrap my head around it. Plus I think he’s this old guy that works at the tattoo shop.
But yeah ice cream move is an absolute smash success if u got $75 to blow. extra pro tip is to find vegan-friendly options for ppl who don’t want dairy or ice cream like maybe just some candy or a fruit bar!
Jul 19, 2024
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He likes to say we met on Tinder because he knows it annoys me lol. Our very first meeting was on New Year’s Eve of 2016 at a house party. He had the same name as one of our mutual friends (“S” from here on out for anonymity’s sake) and I kept riffing with him about that and ended up hugging him when I left, my long hair got in his mouth and he still remembers that lol.
He was the drummer in my friend‘s band and I’d ask about him often; each sillygoofy funny tale made me more interested and led to a little facebook stalk session. My friend mentioned that they were going to a birthday party for one of S’s friends. I begged if they could get me an invite and funnily enough that same day S saw us walking down the street and texted them “you and your friend look good in red.” The invite was secured!
That night, I got all done up and went to the party and immediately got blasted on some sangria. I cornered S and talked to only him the ENTIRE party, mostly discussing a bracket my brother and I had made to determine the best disney channel original movie. He was so kind and sweet and funny and did not make a move! Which was a huge contrast compared to all the thirsty gross dudes I’d normally encounter at parties.
For the next couple months, we’d see eachother around at coffee shops and exchange smiles and quick hello’s. One day on a beautiful early Spring afternoon I was sitting outside at a coffee shop reading Marx for homework and saw S. He sat outside nearby me and I said “ok this is silly!” and told/asked him to join me.
We sat there for three hours as a rotating cast of characters came through. We’d see friends and they join for a spell and go on their way, the funniest addition was my friend and her 12 year old brother. I had to get to class so we parted ways and I was still surprised he hadn’t made any moves or even any objectifying comments, not that I wanted that, but that’s generally the way I’m used to men interested in me acting. I figured he had a partner, wasn’t straight, or simply wasn’t interested in me.
This was the golden days of Tinder so one night when I was trawling through the city’s singles, I finally saw S on the app. This was my shot and I was not going to miss it! A simple ”swipe right” would not do my, I used my daily free superlike and held my breath. We matched! I don’t remember the first messages but it was something like “well, finally!” and we planned the first date.
Apparently, he had a massive crush on me from our very first meeting and thought I was way out of his league so he wrongfully assumed my overt flirting as was just a platonic offering of friendship. We have been together ever since and are happily married and still more in love every day. He has gotten me through so much and I cannot imagine my life without him, love you my beautiful husband!!!
This is your sign to shoot your damn shot!!!
5d ago
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In 2014 I went with my buddy and my girlfriend of the time (now best friend) to see Danny Brown. I hadn’t slept the night before, and we were in a bit of a low key tweaker phase, fitting for seeing the self described Adderall Admiral, and I think between me and GF we honked up easily 300mg of adderall and drank a 12 pack and a pint, before the show. The show was so fucking lit. He passed blunts around the crowd the whole time, it ripped, my heart rate was like a Venetian Snares song, I wanted to swallow the crowd with the force of my body. Later me and girlfriend had a horrendous fight that kept going on in cycles all night in the hotel room that we shared between the three of us. We were too drunk to consistently remember what it was we were fighting about, and my homegirl in the other bed had to keep getting up and running interference, deftly explaining to each of us what we as well as the other person are doing wrong, probably less out of pure kindness and more out of at least a bit of rational calculation like “if I can socially engineer the fighting out of these two fuckheads I love but can’t stand right now, I can finally sleep.” The girlfriend and I probably broke up with each other ten times throughout the night. We slept gloriously eventually and the next day in New York was beautiful and it was truly as though nothing ever happened even though three times she tried to “take a bath” in a hotel shower that was not remotely a bathtub.
Five years later I’m in grad school dating a tiny smokeshow gothy hipster nerd stripper — I don’t know how I managed it ever, really, I was bald as fuck by then and a skinnyfat overstressed drunk — but it was fabulous, we didn’t have a whole lot in common background wise or anything but it was, for a while, a sublime dynamic. The show was Tommy Wright III, and like all ratchet-chic girls, she correctly loved the horror-tinged blown out grit of Memphis style rap. It was at the spot where I met the lady, a sort of quasi-speakeasy hole in the wall club in DC that doesn’t exist anymore, but where I’d ended up, alone in a new city on Halloween when I sidled up next to the alluring aforementioned, who chided me for not wearing a costume. “I live in a closet, I don’t have costume stuff, what are you?” “I’m a slut for Halloween,” she said, wry and earnest. I invited her to my closet of an $800/month room and she stayed for four straight days, smoking weed and reading manga while I put off the mountains of grown up homework I had. Anyway, like two weeks into dating this show comes up, and she wears basically the same little red silky Nothing shirt thing and I’m in a black beret and leather jacket and jump boots. They can’t tell that I’m not *actually* Cool, I assured myself. It had been months of total isolation and School, policy and philosophy, no culture no parties. Tommy’s set was short and a blast. After the show was the more memorable part. She wanted to talk to Tommy but at the same time, I was on a mission to the ATM several blocks away to purchase cocaine for us to inhale. I get back and they’re still talking, her and Tommy Wright, the legend, with the goofy perm hair still. Apparently he’d asked if she’d go with him to his truck and smoke a blunt and she told him no, she had a boyfriend — fuck, I could have hardly blamed her if she took him up on it. But then we hung out with Tommy, mellow and normal and tired seeming. Forgot to mention her friend was there too. Tommy politely declines doing coke with us. The three of us evacuate the baggy of terrible cocaine seemingly in one instant. Girlfriend’s friend wanted to fuck us both, she whispered to girlfriend. I declined.
Not sure this answers the prompt but it scratched an itch
2d ago
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I was at the bar and my friend was telling me about this girl that her friend had a crush on and the description sounded vaguely familiar so I asked them to show me her Instagram and she pulled it up and put it on the table. I scrolled through to find a good picture and said “yes I do know her she’s-…right there” and I looked up and she was running towards me and I screamed her name and we hugged and made a huge scene. Definitely not slick wingman wise but I couldn’t help it because of how much of a coincidence it was.
This girl was constantly on tour up and down the east coast and never in town really so we barely saw each other but always had a good time whenever we did. It was so random and felt cosmic. I introduced her to my friends and she hung out for a bit. Someone’s far away, “unattainable” Instagram crush popping up at the table, as soon shes brought up. It was so cool, I’ll never forget it.
Mar 29, 2024
Top Recs from @mintgawd
Apr 10, 2025
🙏
*only do this when you MUST get FLY and exude unspeakable and ineffable confidence where ppl will probably call you a cocky asshole*
recite this prayer:
Dear Haters,
You can all suck my balls from the back and my dick from the front.
I was born to be great.
you were all born to debate my greatness.
Clearly we are not the same.
in times of uncertainty I stand tall.
Even when alone, my spirit is guided by God’s invisible hand who shields me from the bullshit.
A back this broad was earned by climbing to places most could never reach.
If theyve never seen these heights, how could they comprehend my perspective?
Anyone with something negative to say is miles beneath me with mushy shit in their pamper and piss dribbling down their soft, weak legs.
Thank you mint god for humility.
Thank you mint god for strength.
Love,
(Your name)
And although I may not appear in the physical form, you will feel an aura of mint purple surrounding you and a genuine earthy sense of pride in your chest to continue on your mission, no fucks given.
Jun 19, 2024
🫣
i Am a proud fan of weird women!!!
Newest weird woman acquisition: the cute shy girl from my MBA program with a curly bob and red highlights.
Shes so quiet and shy, we’ve had every class together so far over 3 semesters and barely ever spoke aside from her saying happy Valentine’s Day to me in February. Fast forward to this semester I sit next to her first day of finance class and decide to Be friendly and chat. She’s quiet but cool so I get her number, offer to maybe study later in the semester (which is a mild courtesy as I was lowkey just gaining new allies in the class to assist with cheating).
But once I started texting her about class we just never stopped texting, and now I think we’re actively flirting? Shes into dark romance novels? she brought one of her novels to class yesterday and after class she snuggled up against me in the hallway and made me read a (very graphic) page about a girl getting fucked by a gun? This chick is nuts. Am I catching feelings?
Sep 17, 2024