Rec
🇮🇹
You went out with a good friend, maybe you ended up in a bar or at a party, or you’ve been dragged by said friend to the opening party of Lucrezia’s (fictional character for the purpose of this tutorial) photo exhibition, but the night is terrible. You want to instantly dematerialise and tell your friend, "please, it’s torture, let’s go" but your companion is still chatting with a glass of prosecco in the distance, even though they look at you every now and then to make sure you’re okay. You must be thinking...I don’t want to interrupt while there’s a convo happening...I can’t scream because we’re quite far away and there’s too much noise anyway.
Well, do it the italian way...
Two gestures that you can do with nonchalance which will get you out of a boring situation.
Here’s part two of how in Italy we talk with our hands, because yes, I talk with my hands, I’m one of those.
Preliminary phase, prepare the ground to act, because this time it starts with facial expression:
1) Make eye contact with your friend, but without drawing the attention of other people (if the place is crowded and there is noise, it will not be difficult, no one will notice you)
2) Slightly widen the eyes while raising your eyebrows and tilt your head imperceptibly backwards, lifting your chin slightly. Tilting your head and lifting your chin are two movements that you need to do quickly (imagine what you do when you nod, you lower your head down quickly, right? Now, this is exactly the opposite, same firm movement but upward)
3) If your friend seems receptive, it means he has understood that you are about to tell him something. Action phase, quickly execute these two gestures in succession, making the right facial expressions (you need to express with you’re face some kind of urgency, so again, eyes slightly wide and lifted eyebrows, you can also slightly nod “no” with your head):
1) Keeping eye contact and keeping your eyes active, first point at yourself with a finger and then point at your friend. (First gesture)
2) (Start of the second gesture) immediately after the first gesture and always maintaining eye contact, here is the decisive moment: you raise your right hand, but the palm should not be facing your friend, the hand should be turned so that your thumb is facing you, the fingers should be joined, except the thumb which must be relaxed, in this way: 🫸🏼
(Attention!!! Perform this second movement, which completes the gesture, naturally, after raising your hand, which must not remain still in the air, otherwise you will look a bit stupid) The right hand is in the described position (🫸🏼 ), but now you curve your hand a bit (not in a rigid way, not making a C with your hand, the thumb is always detached from the other fingers) and tilt it slightly to the left, then lift your left hand horizontally as if you were doing an imaginary curve while lifting it, with the tips of your fingers towards your friend’s direction (again, the fingers of the hand are joined together while the thumb is relaxed and separated from the other fingers, imagine the position you put your hand in when you protrude it to show someone a ring, or your freshly done nails) and move it to the right. Here is the interlocking: the inside corner (not the palm) of your left hand touches the palm of your right hand, and an interlocking is created because the right hand is partly welcomed by the left hand in the space between the thumb and the other fingers. The two hands collide with each other, making a sound similar to the one you hear when you snap your fingers. Repeat the gesture two times with a fast pace. This gesture means "let’s go" .
Use with care!
Grazie per aver letto! (= Thank you for reading this!)
(Photo by Julia Stotz illustrating the second gesture)
1) Make eye contact with your friend, but without drawing the attention of other people (if the place is crowded and there is noise, it will not be difficult, no one will notice you)
2) Slightly widen the eyes while raising your eyebrows and tilt your head imperceptibly backwards, lifting your chin slightly. Tilting your head and lifting your chin are two movements that you need to do quickly (imagine what you do when you nod, you lower your head down quickly, right? Now, this is exactly the opposite, same firm movement but upward)
3) If your friend seems receptive, it means he has understood that you are about to tell him something. Action phase, quickly execute these two gestures in succession, making the right facial expressions (you need to express with you’re face some kind of urgency, so again, eyes slightly wide and lifted eyebrows, you can also slightly nod “no” with your head):
1) Keeping eye contact and keeping your eyes active, first point at yourself with a finger and then point at your friend. (First gesture)
2) (Start of the second gesture) immediately after the first gesture and always maintaining eye contact, here is the decisive moment: you raise your right hand, but the palm should not be facing your friend, the hand should be turned so that your thumb is facing you, the fingers should be joined, except the thumb which must be relaxed, in this way: 🫸🏼
(Attention!!! Perform this second movement, which completes the gesture, naturally, after raising your hand, which must not remain still in the air, otherwise you will look a bit stupid) The right hand is in the described position (🫸🏼 ), but now you curve your hand a bit (not in a rigid way, not making a C with your hand, the thumb is always detached from the other fingers) and tilt it slightly to the left, then lift your left hand horizontally as if you were doing an imaginary curve while lifting it, with the tips of your fingers towards your friend’s direction (again, the fingers of the hand are joined together while the thumb is relaxed and separated from the other fingers, imagine the position you put your hand in when you protrude it to show someone a ring, or your freshly done nails) and move it to the right. Here is the interlocking: the inside corner (not the palm) of your left hand touches the palm of your right hand, and an interlocking is created because the right hand is partly welcomed by the left hand in the space between the thumb and the other fingers. The two hands collide with each other, making a sound similar to the one you hear when you snap your fingers. Repeat the gesture two times with a fast pace. This gesture means "let’s go" .
Use with care!
Grazie per aver letto! (= Thank you for reading this!)
(Photo by Julia Stotz illustrating the second gesture)
Jul 29, 2024
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This thing always makes me smile. When I was little I never thought that something that came so natural to me could be perceived as weird/intriguing/surprising by people from other cultures. Growing up I understood that for others it was fascinating and funny, in some kind of way, to see us Italians, in our cities, in bars, restaurants, in squares, in the middle of the street, communicate with one another using very specific hand gestures paired with very specific facial expressions. It’s not just casually moving our hands up and down chaotically to emphasise what we are saying. I swear, we are able to communicate with each other without saying a single word, just using hand gestures+the facial expression associated with that gesture (we have at least 250 specific hand gestures). The roots of this sociological and anthropological phenomenon are to be found in the history of my country.
Basically for a long time Italy was not a unified country, we had dialects and languages that were different in every region, we had what we call “Signorie”, ruled by rich Italian families, then reigns that were ruled by Austria, Spain, France and so on. Basically, we couldn’t understand each other. Latin was the language of the educated, and Italian vulgar (Italian of the origins, which then gave life to the Italian spoken today) was not yet spoken. The only way to understand each other was through gestures. Even now, if a Venetian had to speak in dialect with a Sardinian, and the Sardinian had to speak in Sardinian, they would not understand well, but if they had to use the gestures they would understand instantly. I would love to create a sort of tutorial for italian gestures, maybe one day?
If someone knows a gesture, you can ask me what it actually means.
Maybe I can start with the most famous one, and the most misunderstood of all:
“🤌🏼”
When do we use this and what does it mean? Let’s start with three different situations were you can use this gesture, even though there are more (the intensity of the meaning varies from the situation ur in):
1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (✋🏼-> meaning “stop”, “wait a minute”), then proceed with moving up and down your hand “🤌🏼”, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means “wait, what the heck are you saying?”. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3) Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position “🤌🏼” but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: “WHAT THE F DO U WANT?” Or “WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?”. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).
If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.
1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (✋🏼-> meaning “stop”, “wait a minute”), then proceed with moving up and down your hand “🤌🏼”, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means “wait, what the heck are you saying?”. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3) Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position “🤌🏼” but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: “WHAT THE F DO U WANT?” Or “WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?”. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).
If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.
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But there’s one thing I was never ever able to do, that people often told me would help: put on comfortable clothes and take a walk, go outside and breathe, get the fuck out of your room. I thought I would never been able to do that, never. “I am not strong enough, it may be good for others, but me? I’m weak, I cannot function, something bad might happen, my body is not my ally in these cases”. I guess I was wrong, and I’m so happy to admit I was wrong.
I said to myself, when those symptoms arised this morning: “ok, breathe, it’s just the same familiar stuff you know very well. Now, you can deal with it, even if you’re scared. But this time, why don’t you try something different? For just one time, allow yourself to react by moving your body, try to show your mind that there are other ways to deal with this”. I was scared as fuck, but I did it.
And I discovered another part of myself that I thought wasn’t there. My body, this time, wasn’t against me…and maybe it never was, the poor thing was just trying to adapt to the comfort zone that stillness represented.
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This thing always makes me smile. When I was little I never thought that something that came so natural to me could be perceived as weird/intriguing/surprising by people from other cultures. Growing up I understood that for others it was fascinating and funny, in some kind of way, to see us Italians, in our cities, in bars, restaurants, in squares, in the middle of the street, communicate with one another using very specific hand gestures paired with very specific facial expressions. It’s not just casually moving our hands up and down chaotically to emphasise what we are saying. I swear, we are able to communicate with each other without saying a single word, just using hand gestures+the facial expression associated with that gesture (we have at least 250 specific hand gestures). The roots of this sociological and anthropological phenomenon are to be found in the history of my country.
Basically for a long time Italy was not a unified country, we had dialects and languages that were different in every region, we had what we call “Signorie”, ruled by rich Italian families, then reigns that were ruled by Austria, Spain, France and so on. Basically, we couldn’t understand each other. Latin was the language of the educated, and Italian vulgar (Italian of the origins, which then gave life to the Italian spoken today) was not yet spoken. The only way to understand each other was through gestures. Even now, if a Venetian had to speak in dialect with a Sardinian, and the Sardinian had to speak in Sardinian, they would not understand well, but if they had to use the gestures they would understand instantly. I would love to create a sort of tutorial for italian gestures, maybe one day?
If someone knows a gesture, you can ask me what it actually means.
Maybe I can start with the most famous one, and the most misunderstood of all:
“🤌🏼”
When do we use this and what does it mean? Let’s start with three different situations were you can use this gesture, even though there are more (the intensity of the meaning varies from the situation ur in):
1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (✋🏼-> meaning “stop”, “wait a minute”), then proceed with moving up and down your hand “🤌🏼”, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means “wait, what the heck are you saying?”. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3) Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position “🤌🏼” but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: “WHAT THE F DO U WANT?” Or “WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?”. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).
If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.
1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (✋🏼-> meaning “stop”, “wait a minute”), then proceed with moving up and down your hand “🤌🏼”, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means “wait, what the heck are you saying?”. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3) Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position “🤌🏼” but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: “WHAT THE F DO U WANT?” Or “WHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?”. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).
If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.
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