tv (especially all our shows growing up about kids being famous) and social media have really made it seem like we need it all done together rn and to be successful and supporting ourselves yesterday
there’s no “path”
life’s a journey and the only person judging it is yourself ❤️ (it keeps me up at night sometimes but just remember all u want to do with your life and how you’re gonna do it)
Aug 6, 2024
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or I guess theres no set time of one’s life that should universally be their golden years, rather. I had an awful time starting my 20s, I graduated in 2021 having already lost half my college career to the pandemic, spent a year post college trying unsuccessfully to launch a career, lost another year moving back home to deal with family obligations, then found myself at 23 thinking I had missed the window on some universal period of self actualization that was supposed to happen between ages 19-22.
I think this idea is engrained in us because the progression laid out by our capitalist framework is that we do k-12 school, figure out how to apply our knowledge to a field in college, then know ourselves well enough by then to fit into whatever role we have chosen as the most productive for ourselves, and then do that stably as a career until retirement. or you get married and have kids to and support the domestic life of the partner who progresses professionally. obv what crises like COVID demonstrate is that this progression is flawed, and it’s not a one size fits all mold. to limit one’s entire development as a person into what they do to prepare for a lifetime of working is insanely reductive.
if you find yourself jealous of those younger than you, it’s likely that you envy the stage of life they are in - the stage just before they assume responsibility and obligation and lose the agency to chose how they apply themselves. this is somewhat of an imposed illusion, though. we all have agency at all points of our life to make the choices that can lead us towards our own flourishing, whether they be big steps or small ones.
for me, I decided to change career paths entirely and pursue grad school. i’m about to graduate and now i’m feeling like my passions are leading me elsewhere other than the field I set out to enter when I started my program. I turn 26 in like 3 weeks and i’m still figuring out what drives me and how to pursue it. for some folks that clarity of direction may come sooner, for some it may come later, but the point isn’t for that clarity to steer you to a destination where you then arrive at self actualization and can finally enjoy being - the point is to have the clarity to enjoy where you’re at within process of discovery. to be is to be in process.
ditch the assembly line mindset you were taught, you don’t come out of your early 20s a fully assembled human ready to produce economic value. your whole life is a process of constructing and deconstructing, adding on new pieces, finding joy in troubleshooting the newness of each piece, swapping the old parts for ones that might serve you better, being informed in the creation of the new by what didn’t serve you with the old. you slowly build yourself into a state that works in each moment to produce the greatest flourishing for you in that instance. to inhabit that process actively is self realization. it’s a task, not a place.
you aren’t a fixed piece, and you shouldn’t envy those who are chronologically younger than you because you assume time grants them more freedom to assemble themselves than it does you. they might be more or less realized than you based on how much time or thought they’ve dedicated to the task or how much freedom they’ve had to pursue it. understand, though, that you have control over how much time and thought you dedicate to your own realization and can act on it regardless of stage of life. sometimes obligation gets in the way of the immediacy of that ability, trust me I get that, but even taking brief moments to envision what things or places or people or experiences might serve to build you up in the ways that you need is valuable in and of itself for granting you a sense of direction that you can pursue at any time.
just don’t get so caught up in feeling like you need clarity first to know what to do. don’t sit around getting distracted waiting for it to come to you. interrogate it, seek it out. use your time wisely, but don’t be mislead into thinking there’s a timer on it. there’s no deadline if the assignment isn’t to present a product but instead to enjoy the process of creating and discovering for as long as you so choose.
Jul 11, 2024
Whatever life you envisioned for yourself, your 20s are when you find out if it’s viable—or what you really want. Money and time matter way more (in my experience), and your friends live further away. You get to do whatever you want, which is amazing and awful.
Expect to hear about peers working their dream jobs while living in inhumane conditions, discovering lifelong passions and quitting their ambitions, and re-making all the choices that seemed permanent at the time. Maybe by 35-40 you can expect consistency, but in the next twenty years your peers will go through a lot and change even more.
Just remember that only having a kid and back issues are forever. When in doubt, find a mentor or a role model. Focus on the present if you can, and journal if you can find the time—it helps.
Leaving you w/ this pic of sand—a symbol of the passage of time which is most beautiful when observed closely.
Apr 27, 2024
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I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're still so young. You have an incredible amount of time ahead of you. Life is about consistently working more and more to create your own personal heaven. It's never too late. Having it all figured out is an illusion.
To share a bit about where I'm coming from, I dropped out of school twice. I didn't finish my undergrad until was 25. I didn't even start my master's until I was 27. Even then, I didn't have a clear vision. I just made the next decision I needed to and let the wisdom of each experience guide me into the next.
You're never locked in. You always have the ability to shed and shift, even at a great cost. Even failures guide us to what we need. Go bravely forth! The path will not be straight- it's a winding road!
Aug 5, 2024
Top Recs from @staysexyhavefun
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can we bring back this form of media that has some sort of substance to it?!
i was too young for the millennial blogspot boom and too old to gaf about insta so tumblr was my destined platform (long rip). but i want to experience the blogspot type of thing i missed out on and having the ability to write and actually make my own stuff, not just reblog aesthetic shit. i can go to pinterest for that.
im gonna start one even if no one reads it. i’ll link it i guess.
here’s the link (i can’t change the website link in my profile T.T)
a-space-for-me.com
it’s kinda bland rn but i’m new to wordpress lol
Jan 17, 2025
Oct 1, 2024
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i’ve been a mango fan since birth but finally as an adult i bought a mango and vowed to eat it at its peak ripeness. (as a child they would rot cuz my parents didnt care about them, whores) i just did and it was heavenly 🥹 one of the best treats in the world i swear
eff the inedible pale yellow under ripe precut mango from whatever store and buy a whole mango!!!!! its worth the week wait.
i have a second one too thank god but it’s not as ripe yet
now if i keep buying them on rotation i can have one a week 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Dec 28, 2024