🖤
He texted me the day after my birthday. "I'm moving back north." With those four simple words, my best friend broke my heart. The housing crisis and academic job market left him no other choice than to leave Amsterdam - and by extension, me. Before he moved, we spent one last night in the city together, revisiting all the places where we'd made our favorite memories, asking each other "remember when..." until the sun set. We stayed at the swings that play music, then slept in the bed we'd shared so many times. And when the sun rose again, and the time came to go our separate ways, not knowing if and when we'd see each other again, it hurt just a little less to let him go.
Sep 1, 2024
Related Recs
My friend is set to move out of town after summer. I was definitely a little sad but joyful that his life will continue to develop and expand. I’m not big on journaling but I was able to channel some of those emotions into this going away party flyer. ill Miss him dearly
Mar 19, 2025
Sometimes it just pops out of nowhere, sometimes it’s just a passing memory and sometimes out of the blue I feel the weight of what happened. I had a best friend, a person with which I connected in a way I never did with anyone. She moved out of the city and with that she stopped any communication with me. I miss her. I miss her so much. I feel like I must have fucked up big time for this to be happening. In our last call I told her I was worried we would lose contact with the distance and she told me it would never happen. I believed her. It’s a weird sadness; most of the time I can see clearly that more than try to text her I cannot do much and I’m angry or confused about the situation but it passes, I go by my day. But sometimes this wave of sadness arrives and I remember how she made me laugh, how she looked at me, the day we actually talked like friends for the first time and then it hits me that we might have spoken for the last time. how could that be? I still believe her. One day she’ll call me and my memories of today will fade and get replaced by others of us together.
I should have called her more, told her more times how I loved her, how she was beautiful, we should have gone to more concerts together, we should have said yes to that dude who wanted to interview us for a tiktok. We should have when there still was a we.
One day talking about relationships, I mentioned how incapable I am at letting go and how sometimes I start to resent the person I can’t let go for the things we do to each other. So maybe it’s all for the best, maybe I’m being spared, maybe it will save our memories from being tainted, maybe that‘s all the time meant for us. I don’t know but I wish I did.
Jan 18, 2025
💔
i have a friend named Danny who’s always just so quiet. he‘s very dear to me but he doesn’t talk much, and mainly when I’m spending time with him it’s because his boyfriend wanted to hang out and he happened to be there too. Sometimes when I come over and he’s having a tough day he’ll go to another room, and I thought for a long time he was just a pretty sad, anxious dude. or Maybe he just didn’t like me that much, but I’ve seen him act this way with other people too. So he’s probably just introverted.
today, I was talking to the aforementioned boyfriend, and some old pictures of danny came up in conversation. We ended up looking at pics and videos of him from about a year and a half before we met and hes such a different person — a bubbly, ridiculous guy — and he smiled. It broke me to realize, I never ever see danny genuinely smile. Not when we’re doing board games, or watching movies together, or having a meal.
I’d really never met that Danny. the one E fell in love with, and who could always make his friends smile because he couldnt help but smile when he was with them. the week after he visited his mom, after her cancer went into remission, I met a version of him — I got a glimpse of a happier man who cracked jokes and teased and got excited — but it faded, and once again he pulled himself from one day to the next.
There’s not a word for that kind of sadness, the feeling of losing someone you never had before. I hope in time he’ll heal, and I’ll see him face to face like I see him in those old pictures. But for now he’s many states away, and in my mind, his color is blue.
4d ago
Top Recs from @envy
I'm a July baby. Growing up, I spent most of my birthdays alone. Some years because my friends had left the country. Some years because I'd left the country. Some years because I had no friends. And with every year passing, the pressure to spend my birthday surrounded by friends and family and to have a good time increased. Every year I felt like a failure when I couldn't make it happen. So I stopped telling people it's my birthday.
But today is my 28th birthday.
Jul 17, 2024
✨
I hadn't seen my friend since New Year's Eve. Now it was October, her wedding day, and she barely gave me the chance to gush over her gorgeous dress, her makeup, her jewelry.
"You look happier," she said. "Your energy has changed. It's much calmer now. I'm happy for you."
I love her for taking the time out of her special day to notice me like that.
Oct 13, 2024
🛏
"If the two of you are so good together, why don't you make a move?" my friend asked me in a dream about the guy I was ever so slowly falling for. Those words echoed through my mind for months, from the first date till the final breakup.
Jun 14, 2024