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been pretty interested in sex/porn/eroticism for a long time but still felt a lot of shame about talking about it even in a more “cerebral” but i recently read porn: an oral history by polly barton which is a series of interviews she had with people about their relationships with porn and i found them very enlightening. since i’ve made a conscious effort to have those kinds of conversations with my friends. i promise that if you take it kind of seriously and come into it with genuine intention it will literally change your life. porn is pretty taboo but omnipresent so people have a lot of unexpressed thoughts about it so having these conversations is a really good outlet and usually brings up a bunch of interesting bits.
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Sep 2, 2024

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This has been sitting on my to-read pile for a while and this is exactly my niche interest.
Sep 3, 2024
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I was just thinking about how porn/nudity/sex is so taboo to show on tv but mass murder, gun-violence, war, etc. is so normalized and accepted. Pretty weird if you think about it for more than a minute or two.
Sep 2, 2024
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what’s the most interesting thing you’ve come across or the one that’s stuck with you the most?
Sep 2, 2024
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tiff I send this questions! Commenting to be notified
Sep 2, 2024
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tiff honestly it’s been the more benign interactions with porn that strike me the most. the novelty of hearing about niche kink and fetishes wear off after the second conversation, but hearing about porn people see not when they’re trying to get off is also the most interesting. a friend of mine talked about looking for conjoined twin porn after he saw a documentary and sincerely did not want to jack off, but was just curious about it. i’ve also been shocked at the number of women (including myself) who as teenage girls would watch porn but not masturbate, just sort of eyes glazing curiosity (?) idk i always felt that that was a more random experience i had and it was kind of interesting to know i wasn’t alone. i will say that the more striking thing is how mundane most of the conversations are, like after the initial awkwardness hump many of these conversations are relatively normal. there are less freaks then you think …
Sep 2, 2024
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i find as an unhealed person who doesn’t have a good sense of self respect or mindfulness sex kind of causes a lot of problems for me interpersonal and personal. at least a break in looking at WHY you’re having sex, and what kind of sexual scripts you’re following without even realizing.. what parts of yourself are you reinforcing and/or reducing when you enter sexual situations? i think sex can be mistaken for intimacy sometimes, is this the form of intimacy that serves you best? what conditions do you think you need to have sex that makes you feel good and genuine? do you feel you have emotional agency in your sex life? (edit: also! sex is so fucking vulnerable! of course being vulnerable is how you form connections.. but to perform vulnerability is not the same and it happens a lot!) i also have a lot of personal disgust towards sexual scripts put on by pornography (violence, minors, cnc ect.) the rad fem aspect of sex/porn is a whole nother beast, i’d recommend looking into bdsm ect through that lense if it’s something you are looking for more insight towards. (obviously fuck TERF and try to avoid those rabbit holes, but radical feminism affirmed a lot of theories i had on why sex/sexuality is/are such a point of shame and contention for young people) ANYWAY, i am only 20 so take this with a grain of salt but i think that naturalism fucks with peoples potential for healthy and fulfilling sex lives, preset scripts about what it should be and what it has been. If the sex you’re having feels wrong it probably is, and you have agency to change that, just take a break and reevaluate.
Mar 6, 2024
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It changed how I think about men and sex a lot and it’s so funny. there is definitely a lull about 2/3rds in and it gets pretty experimental. I recommend just sticking through the first half of the stories in that section and if you don’t like then movie on since some of the ones at the end are great.
Mar 1, 2024
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sooo fascinating! uses david cronenberg films to talk about desire / lust / sex / obsession & theories related to body horror & romance.

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if you think you’re the smartest person in your friend group you’re weird and annoying. the best friendships come out of mutual awe and respectability. be friends with people who make you want to know more things.
Jan 29, 2024
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Jan 27, 2025