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Letting go is hard but imperative. I’m a little sad but must forge ahead bc my past doesn’t want me anymore so why should I cling to it?
Sep 17, 2024
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i did the same thing right out of college and basically accepted it was going to be a very difficult period of mourning/grief, living at my parent’s house, and many question marks. accepting it will be painful is helpful- it reminds you it is temporary. freedom is actually thrilling when you realize the whole world is open to you. the opportunity to rediscover yourself happens many times in life often after huge change or loss… i have never learned more about myself or grown more than in those periods. grief / transition / uncertainty …. there is much alchemy in these moments. find simple pleasures like .. your favorite playlist of the moment, feeding yourself a good snack, reading articles or books, comfort movies. and then maybe onto bigger, more exciting things like meeting new people, trying out new hobbies, exploring different scenes and industries. trial and error baby! you will look back on this period someday and laugh because life is so long but it all seems so hard at the time. this is just a moment:) godspeed
Jun 18, 2024
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transitionary periods are never easy, and i’m sorry you’re having to let go of so many things you’ve come to find comfort in, but not having an immediate sense of what to do next is not necessarily a bad thing. I had a similar phase of moving home after college, and it sucked for plenty of reasons, but it also gave me time and space to settle for a moment and reassess what my path was.
for a lot of people, it’s very easy to follow whatever momentum (career-wise or personal life-wise) they’ve been riding during undergrad and follow that to the next immediate opportunity, and a lot of people find contentment that way! but having an interruption to this sequence provides you with a unique opportunity to interrogate some assumptions you may have had about your future. is this career field really where you see yourself? is this city where you picture yourself settling? are you following the expectations imposed on you by others or are you following your own motivations and values? use this brief intermission to mourn what you are losing, but also to consider what you might build for yourself when freed from the necessity of following whatever path you have been on.
if you don’t like the situation you’re returning to, what would be a totally new scenario that would be better for you? envision that, and if the idea is compelling enough, pursue it. until you develop that vision, you may have to do some things to occupy yourself in the meantime that you may not find a lot of fulfillment in. maybe you find a part time job somewhere. whatever it is, if you come to dislike it all you’re doing is tuning your compass. use that to inform what you might prefer to do. but stay occupied! trying and making mistakes and learning is better than being idle.
during this process - and it will be a process, be patient with yourself - find ways to surround yourself with supportive community. maybe that’s your family, maybe it’s friends you’ve maintained in the place you’re returning to, maybe you seek out new community in hobbies you have, or you have cultural or religious communities you’re a part of, or you find friends in the workplace or a third social place. at the very least, they will provide you an escape from the stress of this period, but you could also develop relationships with people who can work though this life phase alongside you. what’s important, though, is that you create reasons to get out and interact with the world. you’re going to be dealing with a lot internally, and isolation can lead to spiraling. who knows, maybe you find a community that is better than what you have left, or maybe you find people who motivate you to pursue whatever you discover is next for you and see you off into the next chapter of your life.
basically, you’re gonna have to do some growth. like all growth, it’ll hurt sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, and you may have to leave certain things in the past that you weren’t ready to part with just yet, and it’s okay to recognize and process those losses. but so long as you don’t resign yourself to despair, and you find a support network that can bolster your spirit, you can come back stronger and more prepared to head down whichever path this process leads you to discover, and with more confidence and determination than the path you had been going down before. best of luck, friend. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Jun 18, 2024
“Rather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.“ - Pema Chödrön
I’ve just lived one of the hardest years of my life. There were many days that I cried or felt numb or found myself praying to an interventionist god I do not believe in. In short, things have sucked.
But there are also good days. Days with a lot of laughter with friends, or cuddles from my cats, or some new piece of art that heals me. It’s not all bad, just as it will never be all good.You have to make peace with this fact because there is no other choice. You don’t have to be happy about all of it, but make peace. Experience all that life has to offer and it will transform you.
“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
Dec 5, 2024
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I’m on an instagram break plus I like you guys more so please enjoy this painting I am proud of. Referencing Bosch‘s garden of earthly delights, specifically the third “Hell” panel ❤️🔥 acrylic and gouache on raw canvas!
Feb 5, 2025
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Like I am sometimes haunted by thoughts and thinking too much can be low key scary
Jan 30, 2025
Mar 13, 2025