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Told my dad another van repair caused our plans to change. We wouldn't be going to Maine. It's too close to winter to be going up North. Instead we'll be staying a few months in Texas on a horse farm.
"Y'all need to just settle down somewhere"
Nearly four years ago I told him our plans to live in a van and travel to different farms for work exchange.
"Now's the time to do it while you're young"
Well it's been a little past three years. The first van kept having issues and we were in an unhealthy living arrangement. Months turned into a year and we weren't welcome anymore. My nesting partner and I were glad the old van even made it three states over to another family member's house.
A few repairs and a second dog later we decided we needed to upsize. This van is also old and needed repairs too but what really kept us here longer was meeting one person that could have made a sad town worth staying in. However, that wasn't in the cards either.
So we're almost four years in to this dream to travel. We've already done a bit of travel if you think about it.
I told my dad "why would I give up on something just cause it's taking longer than I thought it would?"
"You need to put down roots"
I asked what that meant to him.
"Get a home"
Ah, well the van is my home.
If there's one thing I've learned over these last few years, my family is living miserably, going to jobs they only tolerate, to the point of exhaustion, to then sit in an expensive house and watch TV every evening. They have no connection to their community.
I want to see different towns, meet people, get an idea of the community I would be living in long term. I want to be intentional with where I put my roots.
So however long it takes, home is where I am and it's where I'll be in the end.
Sep 30, 2024
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modernism in america told us that you’re supposed to move out when you turn 18. go to college, get a job, start a family, visit your folks on holidays. that was my plan, but life has a way of fucking things up. at 24 i moved back in with my parents after a stint of unemployment and a decision to break up with my high school sweetheart. i was horrendously embarrassed; the only thing making me feel less so was that my brother was living in the basement with his wife and toddler.
ive been living back here for 10 months at this point. i am so fortunate to have family who has my back unconditionally and through this ive really been able to see them as PEOPLE and not just my mom, dad, and brother.
i’m still trying my to gain some financial independence and would loooove to have my own place, but ive realized that success isn’t defined by how well your life aligns with ideals from previous generations. i have an amazing relationship with my niece, i get to enjoy the company of family pets i wouldn’t be able to take care of on my own, i get to help my mom out whenever she needs, i get to catch the tail end of the movies my dad watches on the couch. ive learned more about what family means to me and what it means for me to be apart of it than i have my entire life before. i’m so so thankful.
so here’s my brother’s dog kimmy enjoying the sun while i smoke a joint on the back deck before i go to work :)
Jan 21, 2025
😃
Last year in July, I left my whole life in Paris. My parents cut me off and stopped paying for my flat in the city and I was so depressed about it all. I used to go out a lot, party in the coolest places with my friends whom I adored... I had to leave all of it behind, the glitter and the joy. I moved to a place in the middle of nowhere with my boyfriend, like literally sheeps right behind my house haha. Everything was hard, I had to do physical labor that I never experienced before and I was bored out of my mind.
Connection is not the best here so I had to pick up something to do. I went swimming a lot, I started making pearl bracelets like my mom did in the 70's in the DRC when she was a kid. It felt nice :) We adopted a stray cat and named him plantain in lingala "Makemba", his owner had left him behind. My parents and I made peace, we all grew up...
I'm moving back to Paris to resume law school after years of wandering in the abyss of my future. I'll miss the sheeps, the big tree in out backyard, coloring books and sleeping with the door open. What I thought was the worst punishment of my life grew to become bittersweet memories... Even when everything is shit, something nice can come out of it... I wish I knew that when I was crying cause I didn't want to leave 🐸
Aug 1, 2024
😃
maybe in the end it was just going, but i think i had always known that i wanted to leave the state i lived in but there were some fears in it to.
I think mainly i made sure i had a place of residence to move to, a commitment to move. I flew to the place to get vibes of the town of the building id be living in before signing anything, then i spent the next few months packing, donating, picking up extra shifts, etc.
I planned out my route as i would be driving a long way to get there, made sure i had enough money plus extra in case anything emergency arose. I spent about a week making the longest playlist to listen to.
When the day came to move it was a bit bitter sweet. I knew new adventures awaited me, i knew the town that i grew up it gave me all it had to offer and i bled it dry and staying would only get me so far.
It took awhile to adjust to the new home, new town, new people, but after a couple of months you eventually find that one take out restaurant you like and become a regular, you start to find your ideal grocery stores, you become friends with the people you work with even if for the then next few months you're only friends at work, holidays come up and it'll surprise you how human some people are and you'll fet invited to a work dinner or simply a dinner with a coworker and then you've made your first official friend.
I could go on but I think it comes down to making sure you are ready, you have some safetys set up incase something gose wrong, always do research then just take the step and next thing you know you'll be in your new home
Mar 30, 2025
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It's Ranch. The cap comes off to hold change. Larger compartment in the back. Second pattern I've written and so proud
Apr 9, 2025
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For over a year I had the "world's tiniest ruggedized phone". I don't remember the brand but I bet you can google it. Regardless, I still found myself using Instagram and Facebook on the tiny little screen 🥲. When they say social media is made to be addictive I fully believe it. App blockers, making my screen grey scale after 6pm, none of it works. I delete the settings, I remove the blocker.
The best things I've done for myself that is SO much easier said than done is 1. remove the thing from your life that you're trying to avoid and/or 2. Embrace the thing you're trying to avoid.
For me 1. Was a terrible job and 2. Was silence and boredom
Sep 30, 2024
