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There's a Cantonese concept called "qing" which my Poh-Poh (grandmother) and I spoke about on the phone. we talk about a lot of things. we talk about monsoon season, if she is eating enough protein , and if we have felt joy that day. we also talk about this concept of qing and how it is very crucial to relationships we have
essentially it is a term for reciprocity, an energy that flows between people. In a world where non commitment seems to be on the uprise, I believe that recipricoty is a tool that we can use to combat this so-called fear of contributing to something greater than ourselves. we can practice qing by checking in on our friends and ensuring that there is always love and joy being conveyed to them. I think we owe it to our friends and family to continually make an effort and show up, maybe.
So ?
Nov 7, 2024
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I have been calling in a lot of favors recently (mostly cat sitting as i’ve had a lot of travel necessities accumulate this month for some reason) and thankfully I have friends who are happy to do it for free, so I have been compensating them with tokens of gratitude. I got one friend who’s into sake a nice bottle from a place in town he hasn’t been to. for another friend I got them a big ol bag of their favorite sweet treats. Another friend of mine works on an IOU system so we have been exchanging favors (not in a quid pro quo way more of a serviceberry economy type beat).
in these trying times we’re all feeling a little pinched, but a favor goes a long way in helping folks take care of what they have to do without putting them in more of a squeeze. Pay it forward and show a little personalized love and keep that IOU tally in your back pocket and build your own little economy of reciprocity
May 19, 2025
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That don’t devalue your own personhood as a byproduct (ie “thanks for being my friend)
- It is a gift to be alive at the same time as you
- You‘re cozy like grilled cheese
- I feel refreshed after time spent with you
- With you by my side, I don’t feel so alone.
- I appreciate that I can be myself around you!
- I bet dogs that don’t know you wag their tails when you walk by
Jan 12, 2025
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You didn’t share that one resource with that person out of fear that they’ll make something better out of it than you. What a small, small way to live.
Good things aren’t just good when *you* make them, more good is good for everyone. Share freely, share easily, share widely.
Nov 7, 2024
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my neighbours are white. my friends are (mostly) white. i sometimes fear that my insides are white or turning white - im unsure.
when i speak in my mother tongue, barefoot on the driveway, i feel more connected to myself than i ever have before. i feel unapologetic, and i love being loud as i learn my language. my mum corrects me and laughs at my pronunciation. but my neighbours dont know. and that feels good.
so ?
Nov 7, 2024
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my grandmother has been telling me to use oil on my face and in my food since i was a young child. she doesnt tell me explicitly, she makes little comments, like when i come to her house with a pimple on my chin and she just says turmeric and avocado oil facial. or when im struggling with my articulation and she asks if ive been having my fish oil tablets.
as i get older, im learning how significant these oils are. im oiling my skin. im oiling my hair. im pulling with coconut. and i use aromatherapy in my diffuser. some days, my thighs are so moisturised that i stick to the leather of my carseat, but i dont care because i love oils.
so ?
Nov 7, 2024
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Thats a really tough question, actually. Thats a really tough question. I think in this day and age, we have access to so many hobbies and interests at our fingertips. And I think thats ok.
For me, at least
I would think that you are not subscribing to the consumption machine if you truly derive joy from those interests that youre pursuing. I think the internet has allowed us to try more and new things, and thats ok.
Um, so. If it is something that is sustainable for you and you gain interest in it and you like the craft of it and you like honing that craft, I think you should go into it
We should own things that we like but focus on the practical side of increasing our skills in the hobby/craft, rather than the outcome itself.
So ?
Nov 7, 2024