This might sound a bit theoretical, but I just love the whole concept of the āgood enough motherā. Itās a psychological concept from Donald Winnicott that was very influential in psychoanalytic theory. In a nutshell, it says you donāt need to be a perfect parent - just "good enough." Early on, you give your baby a lot of attention and meet their every need, but as they grow, you slowly step back a little. This gentle shift helps them deal with small frustrations, gain independence, and learn resilience. Itās about showing them they're loved while also preparing them for lifeās ups and downs. No perfection required. In fact, being "good enough" actually is a necessary step in the childās development.
Nov 18, 2024
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A spin on the classic 'inner child' work. I do this sometimes when I need a little extra motivation or TLC. This works pretty well for helping me complete self care tasks when I'm depressed.
I find this preferable to "reparenting" yourself because babysitters let you get away with a little more than your parents do and pretending to be your own mom is sometimes too emotionally fraught. It helps that I've always been better at caring for other peoples' children than I have for myself.
Jan 10, 2024
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Iām not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But itās pretty extreme when people say they āhate kidsā and I often feel itās a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids āshould be.ā That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
Itās fucking hard to be a kid. Youāre dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. Itās confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when theyāre brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe thatās the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
Adore this passage from Anarchism Is Not Enough by Laura Riding
Oct 8, 2024
Top Recs from @chilly_olive_heron
ā untangling a necklace with a needle for someone
(my dad used to do this for me when I was younger, felt like such a delicate ritual)
ā sitting on a couch with someone (aka your current crush) and both caressing a cat thatās between you and the other person
ā¦a silent āweāre both here, coexisting, vibingā moment
ā braiding someoneās hair
(the gentle tug, the trust, the rhythm)
ā tuning a violin or a guitar
(recently watched my friend do this and she was so intimate with her instrument, fine-tuning every string, taking her timeā¦ it was kinda mesmerizing)
ā asking someone about their perfume
(I noticed you, I want to remember how you smell)
ā people in busy public places that close their eyes and hold still for a moment just to soak in some precious sunrays
Loved this question!
Jan 19, 2025
Is a Soviet sci-fi film (by Andrew Tarkowski) that follows three guys who head into this mysterious area called "The Zone."
Thereās supposedly a room there that grants your deepest wish, but itās a weird, eerie place that messes with your mind.
The whole thing feels surreal and philosophical, making you think about life, desires, and what weāre all really after.
Itās haunting, beautifully shot, and sticks with you long after itās over
Oct 26, 2024
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In German, Weltschmerz-literally āworld-painā-is that melancholic realization that the world, with all its flaws, suffering, and brokenness, falls painfully short of how we feel it should be. Itās not just personal sadness, itās more like an intellectual reckoning with the gap between reality and its potential beauty.
Right now, the worldās on fire (literally and figuratively), and Weltschmerz captures the vibe perfectly. Think of it as a big, collective sigh-beautifully sad, hopelessly existential, but also oddly comforting, like listening to a Lana Del Rey song. Or the 2012 tumblr era.
When I was a teenager, Iād feel down out of nowhere-like a weird, weighty sadness without a clear cause. My mom would look at me and say, āAhhh, Weltschmerz,ā like it explained everything. And honestly? It kind of did. It wasnāt about a bad grade or drama with friends. It was just there, this intangible ache tied to something bigger, like feeling the weight of the world without knowing why.
the twist is: Weltschmerz, rooted in Romanticism, isnāt entirely hopeless. Yeah, it aches, but itās the kind of ache that inspires. Great art, big ideas, it all comes from that mix of sadness and longing for something better. So yeah, Weltschmerz might be beautifully tragic, but itās also a quiet relief, like sighing out everything heavy and feeling a little more connected, a little more human!
Jan 12, 2025