Iām someone whoās lived a very full
life in their 20s. I travelled the world, moved many states, started companies, climbed in my careers.
Now that Iām 30, Iām moving back to my hometown to start a family and live close to my mom. Itās given me an epiphany that success really doesnāt mean fulfillment. Connection does. People who donāt do a lot in their lives but have deep connections, feel fulfilled. I regret not investing in certain relationships more in my twenties, or taking certain ones for granted
Nov 25, 2024
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happy (early?) birthday!! š Idk what advice to give because i feel like the 20-somethings now are more emotionally aware than the 20-somethings from even as recent as a decade ago, but tune into your body, give yourself grace, and listen to othersā stories without feeling pressured to model your life after someone elseās. & if you donāt know what you want your life to look like yet thatās okay! ā¤ļø
At 21 I was in my senior year of college and engaged to be married within the year after graduation. In the southern religious environment we were in this wasnāt abnormal, but in retrospect that was soooo young to get married and I donāt think I would have so quickly if I hadnāt been so desperate to get out of a problematic family situation that involved some financial abuse. Despite changing A LOT over the past decade+ my partner and I are still together, and I look back at 21 as a time when I most followed the social script expected of me and coasted on that for a while, until it all started to fall apart (in an ultimately good if devastating way) when I became a mom at 24.Ā
tl;dr: my 21 was tame and mellow and happy but i had no idea who i was or what i could be and now i do have a stronger sense of that at 32 and that feels better
Jun 11, 2024
Whatever life you envisioned for yourself, your 20s are when you find out if itās viableāor what you really want. Money and time matter way more (in my experience), and your friends live further away. You get to do whatever you want, which is amazing and awful.
Expect to hear about peers working their dream jobs while living in inhumane conditions, discovering lifelong passions and quitting their ambitions, and re-making all the choices that seemed permanent at the time. Maybe by 35-40 you can expect consistency, but in the next twenty years your peers will go through a lot and change even more.
Just remember that only having a kid and back issues are forever. When in doubt, find a mentor or a role model. Focus on the present if you can, and journal if you can find the timeāit helps.
Leaving you w/ this pic of sandāa symbol of the passage of time which is most beautiful when observed closely.
Apr 27, 2024
š„³
Iāve taken some time to think about this, because so much I could say feels circumstantial.Ā Ā But hereās what Iāve come to:
Iām still technically early 30ās, but one thing Iāve noticed from myself and friends is a higher level of intentionality.Ā Ā There is an inherent drive to deepen bonds that are worth it, and moving energy away from those that are draining.Ā Ā In order to do that, you have to be intentional about building those connections.Ā Ā All my friends are busy, myself included, so we carve out time to spend together and make sure that happens at least monthly.Ā Ā I actually host a monthly game night which is intentionally very laid back and an opportunity to just have fun, because I know we all need it!Ā Ā I still make connections with new people, but there has to be a little something there for me to put my time and energy into creating something more.
I also found my focus shifting from short term to long term.Ā Ā That was uncomfortable for me.Ā Ā While Iām still a very in the moment person, I started actually thinking about how I wanted my life to look not just right now, but years from now.
Itās true that youāll get a lot of clarity on who you are.Ā Ā I just am who I am, and Iām not trying things out anymore.Ā Ā That doesnāt mean Iām not open and curious and playful, but at my core Iām solid.Ā Ā Either people vibe with that or they donāt, itās not personal to me. I donāt need to be liked by everyone, and I donāt need to like everyone.
Working on yourself is essential. We all have issues, most of them arenāt our fault, but it is our responsibility to work on them.Ā Ā We also all have core issues that will never fully go away, but can get better.Ā Ā Healing is a spiral and weāre never fully done.Ā Ā Life is healing, integrating, enjoying the new level, then leveling up again!
My 20s very much felt like a portal and now my 30s are feeling like a much different kind of one. Welcome to the club and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! š„³
Jun 7, 2024
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If you love a pull on your heart true crime documentary, this is it - on netflix
Nov 25, 2024