Too many things going on at once that I wish I could properly pin down, but it’s all constantly going a million miles a second. It’s all visceral, at times I feel like it’s the only thing giving me life.
Giant ocean waves building up and crashing mid-storm, some old pixelated rock concert (possibly some Johnny Rotten footage I vaguely remembered), a huge timelapse of lights flowing in and out of new york city, past failed friendships and relationships popping up like demonic apparitions, snow falling from the sky like twinkling stars, Christ all bloodied up laughing on the cross cause he knew he had the upper hand, memories of hanging with my best friend when we still lived together in late 2022 (the best moments of my life), thoughts of my mom and dad, a atom bomb going off mid-sea and whisking forest land away, me starring in an old black and white movie playing some caricature of MacArthur with an eye patch on and smoking a pipe, the World Trade Center, a cheeseburger I ate last week, an angel in a trenchcoat trying to conceal it’s wings, some stupid remark I made in a conversation or a phrase I liked popping up in a speech bubble, a knight riding horseback through the streets of NY at night, me trying to picture my future wife and kids and longing to fix the past.
I usually hear something that sounds like a mix of Revolution 9 or Ligeti’s Requiem/Kyrie playing over it.
It’s like this cosmic force I can’t control which reassures me that everything is inter-connected, and that I need to make a life that’s as beautiful and chaotic as the one I see in my dreams. What does it all mean?
