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my therapist told me i should read this book. i dismissed it because it was categorized as self-help. i was expecting it to tell me that my material conditions would go away if i changed my attitude. the neoliberal ideology that makes this genre so harmful. but i tried and i found it really really useful!
the thesis of the book is that you don't need to obey your thoughts and feelings or struggle against them. you can accept and acknowledge them without making them control you. this approach helped me reconceptualize what was going on inside my head. i don't think i ever would have figured this out on my own. there's also exercises that you can try. think trial and error. you just need to find one that works for you.
not everything in this book will apply to everyone. depending on your material conditions it might be a waste of time. there are valid reasons to hate your life. in those situations you should try to change your life and not your attitude. but if you are just looking for a new attitude this could be useful.
one concept i found really helpful was listening to the voice in your head like an anxious older relative. they have good intentions and are very concerned about you. but they're not always right or reasonable. and when they are it doesn't mean you have to listen to them. just laugh and say thanks. i know you are trying to be helpful. but i don't need your advice right now. then go and live your life how you want to.
Dec 4, 2024
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i finally finished this book after working through it for the past few months!
it's a pretty basic and entry-level introduction to the whole "self help" genre, which for sure has some pitfalls, however i did think that it was pretty comprehensive. i also really enjoyed that this book was meant for someone who is skeptical of this whole genre (i definitely am...), and i felt like that really helped me to be open-minded while reading it :D i have some critiques of this book, but generally, i think it did more good than bad.
i would recommend if you're trying to make some changes in your life and the thought of reading a self-help book you nauseous. i'd rate it a 7/10, but some of the lessons were a 10/10!
Nov 24, 2024
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this book is a true story about a therapist who starts going to therapy. you get to read about her experience and the experiences she has with her patients.
one of my favorite reads that i’ll recommend to anyone who’ll listen 💕 it brought me out of a really tough time and made me feel grown!
Mar 10, 2024
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if you’ve ever dealt with someone close to you that makes you paranoid, drained, exhausted, sad, etc. this may be a book for you. unfortunately narcissists are out there and they love to prey on innocent nice people. whether its a friend or family member, it’s incredibly difficult to sever the connections and cut ties with someone you care about even if the relationship is toxic.
anyways i‘ve had some bad characters pop up in my life, and i was recently recommended this book by a therapist. honestly wish i had this book a decade ago, it’s extremely helpful in the healing process and it dumbs down how to move on, stop repeating patterns, and remove yourself from guilt or responsibility from people that aren’t good for you 🖤
Dec 14, 2023
Top Recs from @the_absolute_worst
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sometimes i don't want to feel hungry but food makes me feel gross. if you can drink your calories instead of eating them you can fill up quicker. and you don't have to think as much about the taste. or even chew.
i usually chuck everything into a blender. sometimes i make kits with all the ingredients before i get hungry. i know some folks would call this a smoothie. but you can think of it however you like. maybe it's a soup. maybe it's a stew. maybe it's a salad. who says you can't have a salad in liquid form?
the best part is you can pick and choose ingredients. try to figure out what your body needs. sugar? try fresh or frozen fruit! fat? use up some of that coconut oil you thought would be a good moisturizer! protein? throw in some nuts or dairy. or maybe you like protein powder. i don't. but it doesn't matter.
there are two hacks if you feel extra spicy depressed and need even more help. the first is to plug your nose. don't taste it! it's only going to be in your mouth for a few seconds. and the second? don't look at it! use a water bottle that you can't see the inside of. or just close your eyes. i used to stress about finding the right color. it would come out looking like mud and i would lose my appetite even more. don't do what i did. it doesn't need blueberries or pomegranate seeds or food coloring. if you don't like the way it tastes don't taste it. if you don't like the way it looks don't look at it.
Dec 4, 2024
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pharmacist is such a funny job. you spend years in school drowning in debt. and your reward? entitled boomers yelling at you. like being a service worker who doesn't get tips. i have a butt load of prescriptions so i am at the pharmacy a lot. when i don't have to wait a long time i am on cloud nine. when i do have to wait a long time i remember that they are busy and i am not the main character. either way i always thank them. sometimes i tell them i appreciate their hard work. especially if i see another customer disrespecting them.
i feel the same way about librarians. they are so passionate about books and learning. but most of their time is spent like the pharmacist dealing with entitled members of the public. i used to go to my local library to get homework done. i sat in the corner with headphones on bc autism/anxiety and didn't talk to anyone. now i don't go as much but whenever i do. if i see one of the library staff and they are not currently talking to anyone. i ask them a simple question that i know they know the answer to. and thank them for their hard work.
my goal is to get to know these people on a first name basis. i don't want to take up too much of their time when they are on the clock. but i want them to know who i am and how much i treasure them. so that when they see me coming in they feel a sense of relief. they know it will be a positive interaction. save your anger for the people who deserve it.
Dec 7, 2024