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Can’t pigeon hole people. I can hold ten thousand identities and feelings at once. Today I was overwhelmed with the world and my place in it. it all seemed too big and confusing. We live in such heated times where our identities are put on trial. it’s hard to embrace who you are when you are constantly confronting yourself. There seems to be little comfort or sense in any of it. Then in this online world I’m flooded with every bit if information possible and it keep putting my brain in overdrive. I seem to be loosing myself in it. But then again Buddism comes through with its view of the self. Fluid and forever changing. Their is no defined or definite self we are our environments and everything we have ever learned and been a part of. This lack of constant on my being seems to calm the confusion on who I am or who I am supposed to be. I am fluid and forever changing. All I ask of myself is to embrace this, open myself up to this world and explore whatever I can.
Dec 8, 2024

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sometimes the most authentic way of showing up is honoring your fluidity. your mind and body are constantly changing. theres no reward for remaining the same.
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ephemeral. liquid, even. an infinite thread. (i know that’s three words/phrases sorry). but to me this idea is present as a unifying force in fleeting moments i’ve always had the freedom growing up to explore religion on my own terms, and i always felt like there was some uniting force in the makeup of our souls, even if it didn’t mirror the masculinized, christian God. i feel connected to this force whenever i learn about people in history and realize they werent much different than us in the modern day. we just had different cultural contexts. every time the season changes. when you’re with someone you really care about and even silence suffices. in the same vein, making friends. like that feeling when you meet someone and connect and know you want them to be in your lives for a while. fate is God to me. as is chance encounters. when i take walks in nature and i can hear the river and the trees and the birds calling all at once. even when you’re in line at a store and you make brief small talk or have a connection with a stranger. especially when you get a little laugh or smile out of it. overall, when i feel really connected with humanity and the earth as a whole. i feel like all organized and not-so-organized religion stems from the same place in our hearts and souls (despite these messages sometimes becoming warped and misused).
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I don’t need to label everything or figure everything out! I can have complex relationships and contradicting feelings! I contain multitudes and I have plenty of time!
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