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I just found out last night that my 2012 MacBook Pro can no longer be upgraded past iOS 11, which means I can no longer listen to Spotify on desktop because it no longer supports anything below iOS 14.
My Laptop is a relic. She got me through all of college and was my first big purchase. She holds a charge for maybe an hour and you could honestly cook an egg on her charging brick. But she and I watched YouTube videos learning about design and cinema 4D to get through tough classes. Her light up keys click-clacked all through the night when I was writing essays in the dark. The glowing apple on her back reminds me of the back tattoo I designed for myself with her when I was learning Adobe illustrator.
She also reminds me that old things can still work, and that even though theyāre not the best, sometimes donāt need to be replaced.
Iām willing to make functionality sacrifices because she is not only my laptop, but a reminder of how far Iāve come through my transition from young adult to adult-adult. She keeps my lap warm and genuinely makes me happy to use.
Humans are conditioned to favor convenience, but how important is that when itās weighed against our hardwired sentimental nature and drive to love?
In loving her I am appreciating myself in ways that I could only ever do indirectly. I am proud that she continues to work and boot up every day, just like I am of me.
Dec 20, 2024
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A few days ago I found my old iPod touch and I was able to charge and go through all the stuff I had on there. Itās so surreal to see what I liked and had interest in as a kid. How much that has changed and stayed the same, I donāt always remember little details like that. Feeling lucky that I came across my very own time capsule. I highly suggest finding yours.
Also shared that with my parents and starting talking about simple social media (like most people are longing for) and also feel so lucky that I found this platform.
Jan 21, 2025
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I know it's not cloud but it's something similar. This hard drive goes missing like every year. It's got old footage of my life in Thailand, going about our days in my home town. My dad weren't good at keeping record of me as I was getting older. I rarely have photographs of my younger self.
The videos are like vlogs (mind you my great uncle was like 70 at the time), of him visiting us and going on little adventures with every oneāmy 3 siblings and my dad included. They feature awkward moments like when I didn't want to be filmed or me being captured right after I was crying. I love looking at them and seeing me interact with my siblings because I don't get to do that now. I love to see me at the beach pointing out a sea cucumber and doing a demonstration for the camera.
You see, I don't have the best relationship with my dad and I moved out of home very early. So even seeing him on an old camcorder helps me to forgive him. He looks like just any other person being a dad for the first time.
I'm not quite sure why I leave it around so non-chalantly since its a very important piece of history for me. I am scared of it a little bit. Every time I do a big clean up and stumble upon itāyou can find me on my laptop going through every second of it. Then it goes again into the abyss somewhere. Until we meet again.
May 13, 2025
i am nostalgic for wHen the world had weight. when memories werenāt just saved but heLd.
receipts folded like secret letTers / coins scraped together in sweaty palms / counted twice - just enough for ice cream.
i miss the peRmanence of ink on paper / the way library books carried the scent of stRangers / the way a handwritten note felt heavier than a hundred unread messages.
there was something reAl in the effort.
rewinding a cassette to hear your favorite song agAin / flipping through photo albums with smudged fIngerprints / taping concert setlists to bedroom walls - as if pinning the moment in plAce.
now things slip through fingers like liGht.
tickets are qr codes, letters are piXels,
memories exist in the cloud, weightless and waitIng,
but never quite ours to hold.
Feb 22, 2025
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You donāt need to suffer to prove that youāre a good person. You donāt have to stay with the job that makes you question yourself and you donāt have to keep dating that person youāre not quite clicking with. If something feels off then it probably is. Iām not advocating for immediately abandoning your responsibilities and throwing caution to the wind; but in our hearts we know when something is working and when it isnāt.
That thing called intuition is your soul, and you can trust it.
Dec 31, 2024
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Thereās just something really energizing knowing that me, Megan Fox, and the Late Elizabeth II share something moderately specific.
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āØCapricorn
Mar 4, 2025
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Iām tired of jumping through hoops and reframing my mounting dread everyday as āan opportunity to make a changeā. Iām tired of thinking that only if I tried harder, or was better or did something different that I would have a better outcome. At what point do you stop trying to jam the same puzzle piece in the same spot and say,
āHmm maybe this doesnāt fit!ā
Am I quitting trying to be an ever optimizing and improving version of myself? Maybe. OR have I successfully gotten what I wanted out of this experience and can peacefully move on without remorse?
I think in 2025 Iām going to start choosing the latter.
Dec 18, 2024